Let's do this again ...
Starting late, I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. And I was pissed my shopping went so poorly.
So far we've only seen a Suh sack of Bieber and a FG to make it Pats 3-0.
Plus, gotdamn CityTV has taken over the feed, so instead of potentially cool commercials, we get Canadian classics. Kill me. This also means less cheer babes later on, since Canadian TV likes to go long with their ads and cut into programming.
For the record - I have the Lions today. Moneyline. That's right. I'll take your 6.5 and laugh to the bank...
1:10 - Calvin Johnson with the TD grab ... YES!!!! C'mon you fucking losers... make daddy proud. 7-3 Lions
1:15 - Suh is a beast. He's so hyped, but seems to be delivering.
1:20 - One thing I hate about these big days, is all the "stories" about why we give thanks, or some kid who's sick or bla bla bla ... If I wanted stories, I'd switch to the Hallmark channel. Stop it.
1:27 - booze update. I'm into my second Corona. Had the rest of my Red Patch wine earlier. Turkey is in the oven - 5:30 hours to go.
1:30 - After going for it on 4th down. Lions are rewarded for intestinal fortitude by the football gods with a Morris TD. 14-3 Lions.
Ha ha - Fuck you Brady.
1:42 - Cunningham is right to be pissed that was a bullshit call designed to help Bieber. Nantz and Simms have had his cock in their mouths too much to be objective.
1:44 - I've never understood xmas car commercials. Who's buying a Nissan as a xmas gift? Suspect ...
1:46 - Dammit. Again, long commercial, we miss at least one play.
1:47 - How about a tackle? Green-Ellis makes it 14-10 Lions.
1:52 - Kid Rock for the halftime show? Why is he still getting steady work. I know one young lady who'll be happy to see him ...
1:56 - A pretty good drive by Hill leads to a FG with time expiring. 17-10 Lions. Halftime. Woo-effin'-hoo
1:58 - Wait a minute. The Event is still on TV? How did that shit not get cancelled already? Has anyone watched it after the first 2 episodes?
2:13 - I feel like Charlie just got all America up my ass ...
2:23 - Shitty marketing drives me crazy, and the sales team for CityTV is just plain stupid. Know your damn audience. Diapers, dish-washing liquid, really? C'mon! Get your heads out of your asses.
2:25 - Dammit. Hill gets intercepted. Pats with great field position.
2:27 - Fuck. Welker just gets in. He'd be one of my faves if he was on any other team. All tied at 17.
2:29 - Yep, more kid-oriented commercials by the geniuses at CityTV.
2:38 - Once again. A great drive by Hill. 2 great catches. go for it on 4th and goal and rewarded again. 24-17 Lions. Huzzah!
2:43 - Wow. Alfonso Smith sucks at football. And, I guess, life. Terrible coverage and non-tackling. 24-24 on a 80 yard TD by Branch.
2:47 - Smith was responsible for all 3 TDs ... wow.
2:49 - How is this Lions team 2-8? Their offense is pretty good. And J. Best is out with a toe.
2:52 - Missed FG. Of course.
2:59 - Are you fucking kidding me. Smith gets burned again ... Branch TD. 31-24 Pats. Why is this Bamma still on the field? He's the worst. They are going after him. Can you not understand this?
3:04 - You don't put a lot of blame on Alphonso Smith. Yet you say Brady knew he was going that way before it happened. You know why, Phil Simms? Because he's terrible.
3:06 - Another BS call against Detroit. I can't believe these ass hats are making me cheer for a team from Detroit. Shame on you NFL.
3:08 - Pats have the ball back. I'ma guess he goes towards Smith if they're stupid enough to have him on the field. Bieber & Belichik must be all lulz.
3:17 - Smith sits. But Welker scores again. 38-24. Dammit. I'm gonna start thinking the football gods hate me.
3:19 - Still not drunk. After 3 Coronas and wine. Into the Heineken now.
3:24 - Ugh ... Another pick of Hill. Almost a TAINT. This is not going well. Might need to get into the whiskey soon.
3:25 - STFU Brady. You got the penalty.
3:29 - Another TD by Green-Ellis. Le Sigh. 45-24 ...
3:32 - So, there's a scrap involving both teams. But only 2 Lions get penalties. Makes sense. smh
3:38 - I really don't care what you bowled last night. I really don't.
3:45 - According to Simms, 45-24=17 points down ... And the Lions should have gone for a FG with 1:30 left in the game. I wish I was dumber. Or drunker.
3:50 - I'ma switch to something less offensive for in-between games. I hate Simms and his fake award. Iron man. STFU.
4:11 - When Bite TV changed their format, I started watching Arrested Development from the start (I had only seen a few episodes). The one I'm watching now is hilarious. Lindsey gets a job at a store, but says she's stealing. It was shoplifting and I'm white. I think I'll be okay.
4:20 - No touching!
4:27 - Oh boy. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Can I watch football on mute?
My pick for this game is N'awlins, big. Like beating up on Detroit, big.
4:35 - the game is underway ... Can we not suck the Cowboys popsicle just yet? They're still 3-7.
4:40 - What a catch!!! Henderson and now 1st and goal for the Saints.
4:41 - Touchdown ... Ivory! I'm thankful for a beatdown, please jebus, make it happen. 7-0
4:49 - Oh Kitna ... Picked off by Will Smith.
4:52 - Leads to 50 yd FG ... NO up 10-0
5:01 - I've decided to go with Radiatori pasta for my Mac N Cheese. Good times
5:04 - I'd say that's a catch but down by contact
5:08 - I was right. But Ivory runs it in. 17-0.
5:12 - Another challenge. Should be another win for Garrett. Or else it's borderline abuse by NO.
5:14 - Garrett did win it, but it led to nothing.
5:30 - Brees' first incompletion, 2 minutes into the 2nd quarter, hits the receiver in the head. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's playing well.
5:45 - How about them Cowboys ... get a FG. 17-3 ... laughable
5:47 - I have a feeling the Turkey is gonna take another 90+ minutes. Maybe I should sample that mac 'n cheese - Jarlsberg, Old Cheddar & Mozzarella with bacon, of course.
6:09 - Did Aikman just compare Romo to Favre, Brady and Manning? Settle down. He's more Cutler and Palmer.
Halftime - 20-6 NO
6:18 - Switched over to The Basketball Jones in time to see the Blake Griffin abusive dunk again. Never gets old. Is the Russian now the shame of his entire country?
6:20 - Keith Urban? I thought he was the gay one, who's marriage got annulled? Who am I thinking of?
Google says that was Brad Paisley. Do people know these people? Where's Garth Brooks and Shania? That's the extent of my "new country" knowledge. I hate this shit.
6:35 - that was a huge/lucky play - Austin reverse with uncalled penalties. makes it 20-13
6:45 -Bush drops a TD pass, second drop in his first game back ... settle for FG 23-13 NO.
6:54 - And Reggie fumbles the return. 'Boys recover... oh boy
7:00 - Leads to a Cowboys TD. Now it's 23-20. It's all your fault Bush boy ...
7:07 - Aikman says that if Garrett wins today, he would be head coach next year. Of course. Makes sense. You win 3 games, then lose 5 in a row - let's make you a head coach. Man, GTFOH.
7:25 - Wow. You pass up a 53 yard FG to tie the game? And then the kicker makes an illegal kick. Kicker! Wow.
7:28 - The Saints are self destructing.
7:30 - And the pick ... wtf is happening?
7:36 - If Dallas fucks up this 1st and goal from the 1 - they deserve to lose.
7:37 - After one premature celebration they eventually score. Where's my drink? 27-23 Dallas.
7:50 - A great save by Jenkins to strip the ball from Roy Williams and then Brees takes it 85 yards for a TD. Big game player ...
8:05 - Of course Dallas misses a FG to lose the game. Good times!
Screw it, the late game will be terrible. So unless something changes, I'm done.
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