Cocks, Bourbon & Blues (Highway 61 visited)

I had 2 options today - haul ass to New Orleans or make some fun detours and get there later.

When I saw an option to visit Clarksdale, Ms. It became a no-brainer. Here's a recap.

First off was a side-trip to Samuels, Ky. Why? Because there's a giant cock. My friend Endellion is a big fan, pictures were needed.

Not as giant as I hoped. But a good size, nonetheless

This particular cock is called Ozzie Frank. He seems kinda angry.

As an unexpected surprise, the road to Samuels is also known as the Bourbon trail. Hells Yeah!

So I stopped by the Jim Bean distillery. The place is like a compound

There's at least 20 buildings going up the hill . . .

They offer tours, but I didn't want to take that much time. So I had a tasting - Black Label and Baker's. And a Bourbon chocolate. Awesome. Drinking in the morning is cool. But Bourbon on a cold, cold day is special.

The next stop was Stonehenge. Seriously. KY Stonehenge, in Munfordville. Why?
I need an explanation.

In a guy's yard. Again: Why?

Too bizarre. Listening to Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Betty Lavette and other blues artists gave this trip an extra nice feel. I was so excited for my next destination.
I did eat on the way to Clarksdale, Ms. I stopped in Nashville for some delicious pulled pork with mac and cheese on the side. Good stuff.
Highway 61 is so filled with history, and driving down I couldn't help but think of that. Unfortunately, by the time I got to Clarksdale, home of the Blues, it was dark. It looks awesome, just the right mixture of run down places and cultural significance. It knows what it is and doesn't try too hard. I like it.
The Crossroads, of course, is the main attraction.

This is where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the ability to play guitar.
And play guitar he did. In only 2 years (he died at 27) he was able to achieve so much. Clapton even called him the most influential guitar player of all time.
He's top 5 according to Rolling Stone. Hard to disagree. Django, Hendrix, Vaughn, Clapton & Johnson seems right.
This area is also where Muddy Waters came from. So much history.
Unfortunately, Morgan Freeman's restaurant - Ground Zero Blues Cafe - is only open for lunch on Mondays. So I couldn't eat there. I thought, there will be something in Greenwood, near the plaque for Johnson's death. Wow ... that was not happening.

Greenwood was like Chester, PA. Scary. Except I was there at night. I clearly did not belong. The looks I got were mostly of surprise. The guy at the store where I bought gatorade looked at me like I was crazy. I'm pretty sure I was off-roading at some point. The streets are not lit, the signs are hard to find, when they exist. Bad times all around. I took a picture, the flash didn't go off ... I got stuck in 3 dead ends ... oh man ...

No one really knows where he died. Or when, I think.

I ran away, past Yazoo to Jackson, Mississippi. Then around Ponchartrain to New Orleans.
This is a really nice hotel (under $60 CND) a half block from Bourbon Street, in the heart of the French Quarter. Good times.
This is gonna be awesome. Where the hell is Barbie and Endellion?

(see all the pics here: full album)

LeBronukkah - instant reactions

I DVR'd this bad boy. Watching it now (around 11:30 PM) I know I can't exactly live tweet it.
So let's do a fake diary. There's just too much happening.

The pre-game was just so full of hype and nonsense (i did enjoy the monuments leaving intro, though). Like a game 7, let's calm the fuck down.
I enjoy the chants of A-HOLE, A-HOLE. And Akron hates you!

Lots of signs and shirts, despite the censorship.
Quitness, Witless, lots of variations on that item.

Great put back dunk by Hickson early on.
5.00 left in the first, James basically elbows Joey Graham hard twice trying to separate, and then bitches to ref he got held. Man, GTFOH.
Like a Bosh!

2.31 left in the first Cavs had a good run early, but now they're 4 down. 21-17
Beer is only being served in paper cups. Ha!
I think I accidently saw a tweet that said the Cavs got blown out. Too bad, my pick, given 8pts, was definitely the Cavs.
I'd love to hear what's being said, the game is on a 7 second delay and sound cuts out.
1.30 James with 10 already
48.1 Boobie with a 4 point play, ending the 16-0 run by Miami 28-21
end of first 31-23 (19-7 run to end quarter. All 7 by Boobie)

Can we not call them the big 3. That's retarded. At best they're the big 2 featuring Bosh. He played well for a shitty team. Not an All-NBA, barely an All-Star. Think a female version of Tracy McGrady or Gilbert Arenas.
8.20 Sessions with a 3pt play to cut it to 36-31. No James on the floor
Gibson misses easy layup and Wade stuffs. Bush league. Feeling like it will be a blowout.
C'mon - get to the basket, they are weak inside, ffs.
Look, if you can't beat a team featuring Juwan Howard, Joel Anthony and Carlos Arroyo bow your head in shame.
Lyin' King is my fave T-Shirt. Well Done.

2.10 Still booing James' every possession.
2.00 Bosh gets 2 on a Varejao Own Goal. He has 9. 52-37
"Bosh is playing well in the absence of Haslem" Ummmm ... he's making $15 Mill a year. What the fuck are you talking about. So Haslem would get his minutes?
end of half 59-40 Miami. Crowd is out of it. This is gonna get ugly.
LeBron is being an asshole. Get the fuck away from the Cavs bench, you jackass. I don't care you're friends with them. Save that for out of the fans' view. No class, spitting on Cleveland again.

Thanks Chuck. He agrees, LeBron James is going to the Cavs bench laughing with them every timeout. Byron Scott needs to stop that shit.
Wade and James with 14. Bosh 11.

Wait. Was T.O. trying to score a free phone from James?
Did Byron Scott just go little league: If we try hard and lose, I'm good. Really, mofo? I can't figure out who I hate more.

Woah - FG% is 56-30 for Miami ... ouch
I wonder how Nike feels about seeing it's logo on all those T-Shirts. Any pub is good pub?
7.26 This is getting bad. 75-48. 22 by James, he's taking over
But that was a travel.
Candace Parker's brother is shitty tonight.
I can read those lips. That was a "Fuck you, bitch" with a single finger salute...
4.26 He has 17 this quarter. Le sigh... 88-50
Nice sign - We're not terribly fond of LeBron.
Time to move on? This is his first game back, douche nozzle.
This game needs Blake Griffin.
I'ma throat punch Marv Albert. Reggie Miller knows hate, let him speak.
Cleveland is in 8th place. They Start Varejao, Moon, Candace's Bro, Mo Williams and Hickson. Raptors suck at basketball.
1.10 Cavs on a big 12-3 run. Lead now only 29. 91-62
end of 3rd 95-65

Says it all

Chants of Bullshit. Something went down in the stands. Standard PA announcement to not throw shit. Artest has a shrink now, we're all safe.
"If you're Byron Scott it's going to be hard to win against teams that score lots of points." No shit, Sherlock. I'd say that goes for every team in the league. I want to stab my ears. This game is so boring.
Oh oh ... Cops have lined up and are kicking people out now.
 9 minutes left.
Oh well, my nightmare is over. Game went on too long, PVR done.
Lemme check internets.
Final is 118-90. Blah.
James with 38, didn't play in 4th. Cavs starters - 28 pts.

Oh my ... Apparently: A battery was, in fact, thrown, falling near the Heat bench late in the game (according to NBA Fanhouse LiveBlog)
And a dude who was taken out by security, was "taken out" ... all bloody when he was carried out.

2010 Thanksgiving Runnig Diary

Let's do this again ...

Starting late, I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. And I was pissed my shopping went so poorly.

So far we've only seen a Suh sack of Bieber and a FG to make it Pats 3-0.
Plus, gotdamn CityTV has taken over the feed, so instead of potentially cool commercials, we get Canadian classics. Kill me. This also means less cheer babes later on, since Canadian TV likes to go long with their ads and cut into programming.

For the record - I have the Lions today. Moneyline. That's right. I'll take your 6.5 and laugh to the bank...

1:10 - Calvin Johnson with the TD grab ... YES!!!! C'mon you fucking losers... make daddy proud. 7-3 Lions

1:15 - Suh is a beast. He's so hyped, but seems to be delivering.
1:20 - One thing I hate about these big days, is all the "stories" about why we give thanks, or some kid who's sick or bla bla bla ... If I wanted stories, I'd switch to the Hallmark channel. Stop it.
1:27 - booze update. I'm into my second Corona. Had the rest of my Red Patch wine earlier. Turkey is in the oven - 5:30 hours to go.
1:30 - After going for it on 4th down. Lions are rewarded for intestinal fortitude by the football gods with a Morris TD. 14-3 Lions.
Ha ha - Fuck you Brady.
1:42 - Cunningham is right to be pissed that was a bullshit call designed to help Bieber. Nantz and Simms have had his cock in their mouths too much to be objective.
1:44 - I've never understood xmas car commercials. Who's buying a Nissan as a xmas gift? Suspect ...
1:46 - Dammit. Again, long commercial, we miss at least one play.
1:47 - How about a tackle? Green-Ellis makes it 14-10 Lions.
1:52 - Kid Rock for the halftime show? Why is he still getting steady work. I know one young lady who'll be happy to see him ...
1:56 - A pretty good drive by Hill leads to a FG with time expiring. 17-10 Lions. Halftime. Woo-effin'-hoo
1:58 - Wait a minute. The Event is still on TV? How did that shit not get cancelled already? Has anyone watched it after the first 2 episodes?
2:13 - I feel like Charlie just got all America up my ass ...
2:23 - Shitty marketing drives me crazy, and the sales team for CityTV is just plain stupid. Know your damn audience. Diapers, dish-washing liquid, really? C'mon! Get your heads out of your asses.
2:25 - Dammit. Hill gets intercepted. Pats with great field position.
2:27 - Fuck. Welker just gets in. He'd be one of my faves if he was on any other team. All tied at 17.
2:29 - Yep, more kid-oriented commercials by the geniuses at CityTV.
2:38 - Once again. A great drive by Hill. 2 great catches. go for it on 4th and goal and rewarded again. 24-17 Lions. Huzzah!
2:43 - Wow. Alfonso Smith sucks at football. And, I guess, life. Terrible coverage and non-tackling. 24-24 on a 80 yard TD by Branch.
2:47 - Smith was responsible for all 3 TDs ... wow.
2:49 - How is this Lions team 2-8? Their offense is pretty good. And J. Best is out with a toe.
2:52 - Missed FG. Of course.
2:59 - Are you fucking kidding me. Smith gets burned again ... Branch TD. 31-24 Pats. Why is this Bamma still on the field? He's the worst. They are going after him. Can you not understand this?
3:04 - You don't put a lot of blame on Alphonso Smith. Yet you say Brady knew he was going that way before it happened. You know why, Phil Simms? Because he's terrible.
3:06 - Another BS call against Detroit. I can't believe these ass hats are making me cheer for a team from Detroit. Shame on you NFL.
3:08 - Pats have the ball back. I'ma guess he goes towards Smith if they're stupid enough to have him on the field. Bieber & Belichik must be all lulz.
3:17 - Smith sits. But Welker scores again. 38-24. Dammit. I'm gonna start thinking the football gods hate me.
3:19 - Still not drunk. After 3 Coronas and wine. Into the Heineken now.
3:24 - Ugh ... Another pick of Hill. Almost a TAINT. This is not going well. Might need to get into the whiskey soon.
3:25 - STFU Brady. You got the penalty.
3:29 - Another TD by Green-Ellis. Le Sigh. 45-24 ...
3:32 - So, there's a scrap involving both teams. But only 2 Lions get penalties. Makes sense. smh
3:38 - I really don't care what you bowled last night. I really don't.
3:45 - According to Simms, 45-24=17 points down ... And the Lions should have gone for a FG with 1:30 left in the game. I wish I was dumber. Or drunker.
3:50 - I'ma switch to something less offensive for in-between games. I hate Simms and his fake award. Iron man. STFU.
4:11 - When Bite TV changed their format, I started watching Arrested Development from the start (I had only seen a few episodes). The one I'm watching now is hilarious. Lindsey gets a job at a store, but says she's stealing. It was shoplifting and I'm white. I think I'll be okay.
4:20 - No touching!
4:27 - Oh boy. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Can I watch football on mute?

My pick for this game is N'awlins, big. Like beating up on Detroit, big.

4:35 - the game is underway ... Can we not suck the Cowboys popsicle just yet? They're still 3-7.
4:40 - What a catch!!! Henderson and now 1st and goal for the Saints.
4:41 - Touchdown ... Ivory! I'm thankful for a beatdown, please jebus, make it happen. 7-0
4:49 - Oh Kitna ... Picked off by Will Smith.
4:52 - Leads to 50 yd FG ... NO up 10-0
5:01 - I've decided to go with Radiatori pasta for my Mac N Cheese. Good times
5:04 - I'd say that's a catch but down by contact
5:08 - I was right. But Ivory runs it in. 17-0.
5:12 - Another challenge. Should be another win for Garrett. Or else it's borderline abuse by NO.
5:14 - Garrett did win it, but it led to nothing.
5:30 - Brees' first incompletion, 2 minutes into the 2nd quarter, hits the receiver in the head. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's playing well.
5:45 - How about them Cowboys ... get a FG. 17-3 ... laughable
5:47 - I have a feeling the Turkey is gonna take another 90+ minutes. Maybe I should sample that mac 'n cheese - Jarlsberg, Old Cheddar & Mozzarella with bacon, of course.
6:09 - Did Aikman just compare Romo to Favre, Brady and Manning? Settle down. He's more Cutler and Palmer.
Halftime - 20-6 NO
6:18 - Switched over to The Basketball Jones in time to see the Blake Griffin abusive dunk again. Never gets old. Is the Russian now the shame of his entire country?
6:20 - Keith Urban? I thought he was the gay one, who's marriage got annulled? Who am I thinking of?
Google says that was Brad Paisley. Do people know these people? Where's Garth Brooks and Shania? That's the extent of my "new country" knowledge. I hate this shit.
6:35 - that was a huge/lucky play - Austin reverse with uncalled penalties. makes it 20-13
6:45 -Bush drops a TD pass, second drop in his first game back ... settle for FG 23-13 NO.
6:54 - And Reggie fumbles the return. 'Boys recover... oh boy
7:00 - Leads to a Cowboys TD. Now it's 23-20. It's all your fault Bush boy ...
7:07 - Aikman says that if Garrett wins today, he would be head coach next year. Of course. Makes sense. You win 3 games, then lose 5 in a row - let's make you a head coach. Man, GTFOH.
7:25 - Wow. You pass up a 53 yard FG to tie the game? And then the kicker makes an illegal kick. Kicker! Wow.
7:28 - The Saints are self destructing.
7:30 - And the pick ... wtf is happening?
7:36 - If Dallas fucks up this 1st and goal from the 1 - they deserve to lose.
7:37 - After one premature celebration they eventually score. Where's my drink? 27-23 Dallas.
7:50 - A great save by Jenkins to strip the ball from Roy Williams and then Brees takes it 85 yards for a TD. Big game player ...
8:05 - Of course Dallas misses a FG to lose the game. Good times!

Screw it, the late game will be terrible. So unless something changes, I'm done.

Review - Puck'n Wings

(Corner of Bloor/Walmer)
First off, it's a damn hockey bar, so I wasn't hoping for much.

But, I was assured the wings were top notch, all good.
I ordered 2 pounds - Dragon & dry Cajun.

At first I was excited, they looked hand cut, not mechanically cut. But that was an illusion on one wing. They looked good enough, a decent size.
The sauce and rub were pretty good and they tasted alright. Not top notch, but better than overrated Duffs, for sure.

But something seemed weird. I should've listened to my spidey senses.
We also had a beer problem, Barb's beer was off-tasting. They eventually gave her a fresh one.
Back to the wings. They made me sick as a dog, bad times. Undercooked, I think.

And then the bill - paying over $40 for 2 pints and 2 pounds without chips is borderline criminal.
So this is a pass from me. 2 out of 5, maybe.
I need to get myself to Shagwell's stat.

MLS Cup 2010

I went into the weekend thinking, meh. Whatever, really.

I would be one of those people you would call a TFC fan, but not an MLS fan. I only cared about MLS in as much as it is a delivery system for my masochistic love. And I certainly understand the concept of being a league fan, as I am a fan of the NFL (and Dolphins) and the NBA (no real allegiance, yet) as well as the EPL (MCFC).
But something happened at the Supporters Summit that changed my mind. Changed my life, really.

On Friday night I went to the Football Factory expecting to see mostly my RPB brethren with a smattering of Rapids and FC Dallas fans. Wow, was I wrong. First people I meet are Rey & Thomas, from Chivas USA.
These guys are awesome fun, goat-lovers, yes. But really fun. Then Sam from KC, sporting the new gear (pun intended). Abe from the Portland Timber Army, not even in the league yet. Plus guys from the Galaxy, RSL, Whitecaps, NYRB, DC United's Sleeping Eagles.
Every team was represented I hear. Even Montreal and Columbus sent someone. A class event.
The whole weekend unfurled the same way, with people partying like it's Super Bowl weekend, and then it hit me.
This is better. These are supporters, with passion. Where else can you crack an MLS-related joke and have people get it.
I was impressed. And I hope the neutral site concept continues, I know I'll be travelling next year.
The game itself was a snoozer, minus the last 3 minutes. But I got home post 3AM 3 nights in a row, proof of fun.

Well played MLS, and Boris and the rest of the Supporters Summit Organizing committee. I'm a convert and others felt the same way.

Annoying advert ep. 1 - Jared

This will be a recurring theme. I fucking hate stupid commercials/advertising.

This one is by the Jared jewelry store. It features a family of course, cause most annoying ads are family focused, this time the kids are hoping that their dad went to get jewelry like they said. Not only that but somehow they told him which store to visit.
A few things annoy me here. First off, what 8-10 year old kid knows the name of stores like that? Second, what man needs advice from his kids. Third, jewelry stores is maybe the easiest marketing campaigns to make. De Beers used to get it right.
The message is simple - wanna get laid? then buy her something shiny. End of fucking message.
Stop it, with the family/children nonsense.