Let's do this again ...
Starting late, I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. And I was pissed my shopping went so poorly.
So far we've only seen a Suh sack of Bieber and a FG to make it Pats 3-0.
Plus, gotdamn CityTV has taken over the feed, so instead of potentially cool commercials, we get Canadian classics. Kill me. This also means less cheer babes later on, since Canadian TV likes to go long with their ads and cut into programming.
For the record - I have the Lions today. Moneyline. That's right. I'll take your 6.5 and laugh to the bank...
1:10 - Calvin Johnson with the TD grab ... YES!!!! C'mon you fucking losers... make daddy proud. 7-3 Lions
1:15 - Suh is a beast. He's so hyped, but seems to be delivering.
1:20 - One thing I hate about these big days, is all the "stories" about why we give thanks, or some kid who's sick or bla bla bla ... If I wanted stories, I'd switch to the Hallmark channel. Stop it.
1:27 - booze update. I'm into my second Corona. Had the rest of my Red Patch wine earlier. Turkey is in the oven - 5:30 hours to go.
1:30 - After going for it on 4th down. Lions are rewarded for intestinal fortitude by the football gods with a Morris TD. 14-3 Lions.
Ha ha - Fuck you Brady.
1:42 - Cunningham is right to be pissed that was a bullshit call designed to help Bieber. Nantz and Simms have had his cock in their mouths too much to be objective.
1:44 - I've never understood xmas car commercials. Who's buying a Nissan as a xmas gift? Suspect ...
1:46 - Dammit. Again, long commercial, we miss at least one play.
1:47 - How about a tackle? Green-Ellis makes it 14-10 Lions.
1:52 - Kid Rock for the halftime show? Why is he still getting steady work. I know one young lady who'll be happy to see him ...
1:56 - A pretty good drive by Hill leads to a FG with time expiring. 17-10 Lions. Halftime. Woo-effin'-hoo
1:58 - Wait a minute. The Event is still on TV? How did that shit not get cancelled already? Has anyone watched it after the first 2 episodes?
2:13 - I feel like Charlie just got all America up my ass ...
2:23 - Shitty marketing drives me crazy, and the sales team for CityTV is just plain stupid. Know your damn audience. Diapers, dish-washing liquid, really? C'mon! Get your heads out of your asses.
2:25 - Dammit. Hill gets intercepted. Pats with great field position.
2:27 - Fuck. Welker just gets in. He'd be one of my faves if he was on any other team. All tied at 17.
2:29 - Yep, more kid-oriented commercials by the geniuses at CityTV.
2:38 - Once again. A great drive by Hill. 2 great catches. go for it on 4th and goal and rewarded again. 24-17 Lions. Huzzah!
2:43 - Wow. Alfonso Smith sucks at football. And, I guess, life. Terrible coverage and non-tackling. 24-24 on a 80 yard TD by Branch.
2:47 - Smith was responsible for all 3 TDs ... wow.
2:49 - How is this Lions team 2-8? Their offense is pretty good. And J. Best is out with a toe.
2:52 - Missed FG. Of course.
2:59 - Are you fucking kidding me. Smith gets burned again ... Branch TD. 31-24 Pats. Why is this Bamma still on the field? He's the worst. They are going after him. Can you not understand this?
3:04 - You don't put a lot of blame on Alphonso Smith. Yet you say Brady knew he was going that way before it happened. You know why, Phil Simms? Because he's terrible.
3:06 - Another BS call against Detroit. I can't believe these ass hats are making me cheer for a team from Detroit. Shame on you NFL.
3:08 - Pats have the ball back. I'ma guess he goes towards Smith if they're stupid enough to have him on the field. Bieber & Belichik must be all lulz.
3:17 - Smith sits. But Welker scores again. 38-24. Dammit. I'm gonna start thinking the football gods hate me.
3:19 - Still not drunk. After 3 Coronas and wine. Into the Heineken now.
3:24 - Ugh ... Another pick of Hill. Almost a TAINT. This is not going well. Might need to get into the whiskey soon.
3:25 - STFU Brady. You got the penalty.
3:29 - Another TD by Green-Ellis. Le Sigh. 45-24 ...
3:32 - So, there's a scrap involving both teams. But only 2 Lions get penalties. Makes sense. smh
3:38 - I really don't care what you bowled last night. I really don't.
3:45 - According to Simms, 45-24=17 points down ... And the Lions should have gone for a FG with 1:30 left in the game. I wish I was dumber. Or drunker.
3:50 - I'ma switch to something less offensive for in-between games. I hate Simms and his fake award. Iron man. STFU.
4:11 - When Bite TV changed their format, I started watching Arrested Development from the start (I had only seen a few episodes). The one I'm watching now is hilarious. Lindsey gets a job at a store, but says she's stealing. It was shoplifting and I'm white. I think I'll be okay.
4:20 - No touching!
4:27 - Oh boy. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. Can I watch football on mute?
My pick for this game is N'awlins, big. Like beating up on Detroit, big.
4:35 - the game is underway ... Can we not suck the Cowboys popsicle just yet? They're still 3-7.
4:40 - What a catch!!! Henderson and now 1st and goal for the Saints.
4:41 - Touchdown ... Ivory! I'm thankful for a beatdown, please jebus, make it happen. 7-0
4:49 - Oh Kitna ... Picked off by Will Smith.
4:52 - Leads to 50 yd FG ... NO up 10-0
5:01 - I've decided to go with Radiatori pasta for my Mac N Cheese. Good times
5:04 - I'd say that's a catch but down by contact
5:08 - I was right. But Ivory runs it in. 17-0.
5:12 - Another challenge. Should be another win for Garrett. Or else it's borderline abuse by NO.
5:14 - Garrett did win it, but it led to nothing.
5:30 - Brees' first incompletion, 2 minutes into the 2nd quarter, hits the receiver in the head. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's playing well.
5:45 - How about them Cowboys ... get a FG. 17-3 ... laughable
5:47 - I have a feeling the Turkey is gonna take another 90+ minutes. Maybe I should sample that mac 'n cheese - Jarlsberg, Old Cheddar & Mozzarella with bacon, of course.
6:09 - Did Aikman just compare Romo to Favre, Brady and Manning? Settle down. He's more Cutler and Palmer.
Halftime - 20-6 NO
6:18 - Switched over to The Basketball Jones in time to see the Blake Griffin abusive dunk again. Never gets old. Is the Russian now the shame of his entire country?
6:20 - Keith Urban? I thought he was the gay one, who's marriage got annulled? Who am I thinking of?
Google says that was Brad Paisley. Do people know these people? Where's Garth Brooks and Shania? That's the extent of my "new country" knowledge. I hate this shit.
6:35 - that was a huge/lucky play - Austin reverse with uncalled penalties. makes it 20-13
6:45 -Bush drops a TD pass, second drop in his first game back ... settle for FG 23-13 NO.
6:54 - And Reggie fumbles the return. 'Boys recover... oh boy
7:00 - Leads to a Cowboys TD. Now it's 23-20. It's all your fault Bush boy ...
7:07 - Aikman says that if Garrett wins today, he would be head coach next year. Of course. Makes sense. You win 3 games, then lose 5 in a row - let's make you a head coach. Man, GTFOH.
7:25 - Wow. You pass up a 53 yard FG to tie the game? And then the kicker makes an illegal kick. Kicker! Wow.
7:28 - The Saints are self destructing.
7:30 - And the pick ... wtf is happening?
7:36 - If Dallas fucks up this 1st and goal from the 1 - they deserve to lose.
7:37 - After one premature celebration they eventually score. Where's my drink? 27-23 Dallas.
7:50 - A great save by Jenkins to strip the ball from Roy Williams and then Brees takes it 85 yards for a TD. Big game player ...
8:05 - Of course Dallas misses a FG to lose the game. Good times!
Screw it, the late game will be terrible. So unless something changes, I'm done.
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thursday, November 26, 2009
2009 Thanksgiving running diary
Alright ... why the hell not let's try a running diary again.
I will start drinking at any point now (the turkey's ready in 2 hours), so be warned.
1100 - Wow, NBC is kicking CBS' ass in Macy's parade coverage. I never even heard of the people on CBS and not all the stuff is from the parade. I think their target demo really is the 54-90 age range.
1110 - I love the Roots, but why Jimmy Fallon? Does he have something on ?uestlove? Having Fallon lyp-synch to Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis was just weird.
1115 - Country music - Yep, time to crack open the first beer.
1140 - Rubbed the turkey down, another hour + to go. I'm starting with an American beer for the occasion - a Sam Adams. Gave a bit to the bird, hopefully that wasn't a bad idea.
1145 - Had to switch to the Pregame, the parade was about to make me nauseous. Too many kids.
1152 - To clear up any confusion - the bird that got a drink is the one in the oven. Although I should get a canary to live here, in case of toxic fumes.
Made the mistake of switching back to parade - oh boy. Christmas music and Santa ... Sigh
1157 - the Audio on Fox is all messed up. I may kill myself.
For the record - my predictions today: Dallas chokes; Detroit gets blown out and tonight is a comedy of errors.
1200 - Had to switch to College roundball - Creighton v Michigan. The audio is out of synch and it crackles on fox. There's no way I can listen. I may need to watch on mute. This sux huge donkey balls.
1218 - I assume the 15 next to Michigan is their National ranking and not their seed in this tournament (quarter-final #1 of Old Spice classic). They are giving Creighton a beating.
1223 - Fox is still messed up and they all picked the Giants. Going East to West on a short week. Really? You're all that sure of the team with the lesser record winning? Eli is better on the road, but his balls don't exactly cut the wind.
1233 - Rogers was trying to help, but in the meantime City TV feed has taken over, so ... who knows. As long as it works I don't care anymore
1235 - FOOTBALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
1238 - Lions have first and goal again. Jordy? Is that really a man's name? Nice fumble white boy. And roughing the passer? Shouldn't he be touched hard enough for him to notice? Ugh. This is gonna screw with my prediction. But it's still the Lions!
1242 - Touchdown Lions ...
1248 - Turns out Det is 31st in Defense and 32nd against the pass because they have a bunch of new players. Didn't they finish 0-16? I don't think newness is the problem here.
1252 - The rub was a bad idea, but the beer seems good at first glance. There's a slightly (okay mostly) burnt crust, but it's just the skin. Tenting now while the potatoes cook.
103 - Picked off ... There's the Lions I know!
110 - Touchdown - Donald Lee on a screen. Lucky 7's across the board.
123 - Turkey status: Delicious and moist. Pants status: off. Sam Adams status: #3
133 - First and goal. Let me throw 3 screen passes outside the 5 yard line and see if something can happen. You realize the defensive backs aren't running 30 yards downfield, right? 10-7 Packers. Idiots.
140 - Another pick. Big surprise. C'mon GB, don't screw this up.
147 - 1st and goal ... yep another short pass, at least it was incomplete
151- Yep. Once again the 31st best defense (that one from worst if you don't know) stops the Packers. 13-7. Still idiots. 1 minute left in 1st half.
200 - Halftime.
212 - Am I supposed to know who any of these people performing are? Melanie Fiona; Hal Linton; Kem and whoever the first one was? I'm old...
215 - oh, they let a white boy perform a Martha & the Vandellas song. That makes sense. Motown is all about that! Not just white. Emo white!
221 - Total yards. 256-78 ... again. idiots.
Ha! ... Another pick! Packers ball.
241 - Touchdown. That took forever. Packers 20-7
256 - Touchdown ... I was sooo right. Packers 27-7
257 - Beverage update: Grolsch, a nice Dutch brew.
end of 3
300 - Michigan won earlier, now it's Marquette v Xavier. What is this tourney? It's kinda awesome ... was it always here? I feel cheated. I need answers dammit.
310 - Ummmm... Why don't the Lions' 2 Johnsons have their first initial on their backs? They play the same damn position...
311 - 3rd and goal for Detroit. This is not ending well.
313 - Yep. No points.
320 - A safety for Detroit. Good on ya. 2 points will not make any difference though. Do you have a 20 point play in there?
331 - After a FG, everyone expects an onside kick with 5 minutes left. Sneaky Detroit kicks it away so that they can lose more easily. Awful nice of you.
335 - Yep. Stafford throws a TAINT. Good job rookie. Packers 34-12
348 - Matt Flynn is the QB now for GB. After McCarthy challenged a fumble and won, in a 22 point game. With 2 minutes left. Stay Classy GB.
351 - 18 seconds left. Prediction #1 was accurate for me. Game over. 34-12
357 - Apparently Lechler of OAK really wants to hit the scoreboard. Uhhhh Why?
421 - What's the ruling on leftovers? It's 3 hours later. Is it - If a microwave is involved = leftovers?
Also - if the Raiders are that much better with Gradkowski, why wasn't he starting earlier. (They are much better, btw. Jamarcus is one of the worst all time)
455 - 1st quarter done. Not exactly the most exciting. 3-0 Dallas.
505 - Touchdown Dallas on a big run. I'm pretty sure Tom Cable will now punch someone for failing to tackle. I suggest the pro-bowler, send a message coach!
523 - Doink.... stays 10-0 Dallas.
I'm bored. And not even tipsy enough, even though I've tried.
535 - Am I supposed to know who or what a Daughtry is?
539 - I'm so smart. Also - is anyone over 20 excited about the holidays? Enough with the ads.
600 - Seriously. Who are these guys? At least the nobodies in the earlier games were doing known songs. Let's get a local wedding band to perform at halftime ...
609 - So, the Cowbows are really clicking? they've scored 17. Not 37. Against the Raiders.
620 - You know why there's still so many ads for the Bills in Toronto? 2 cheapest tix will cost you $220. To see the Bills. From the top of the upper deck. Cause the bottom of the upper deck is over $100 more. To see the Bills. The only AFC team that existed in 1999 to not make the playoffs this decade (only NFC team - Detroit). Just sayin'
630 - The Raider comeback has started. TD. 17-7. But listening to commentary you'd think the Cowboys were cruising with a 21 point lead.
635 - The Dallas offense that's really clicking just punted for the 4th time. GB who couldn't finish didn't punt until the 4th Q.
646 - Wow Oakland sux. Even Roy Williams can catch a TD. 24-7
725 - Well that's finally over. I don't care about Simms' cobbler, for the record.
913 - I'll end it on this ... I'm pretty sure I just heard McDaniels use Motherfuckin' and drop another f-bomb. I smell an FCC fine...
I will start drinking at any point now (the turkey's ready in 2 hours), so be warned.
1100 - Wow, NBC is kicking CBS' ass in Macy's parade coverage. I never even heard of the people on CBS and not all the stuff is from the parade. I think their target demo really is the 54-90 age range.
1110 - I love the Roots, but why Jimmy Fallon? Does he have something on ?uestlove? Having Fallon lyp-synch to Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis was just weird.
1115 - Country music - Yep, time to crack open the first beer.
1140 - Rubbed the turkey down, another hour + to go. I'm starting with an American beer for the occasion - a Sam Adams. Gave a bit to the bird, hopefully that wasn't a bad idea.
1145 - Had to switch to the Pregame, the parade was about to make me nauseous. Too many kids.
1152 - To clear up any confusion - the bird that got a drink is the one in the oven. Although I should get a canary to live here, in case of toxic fumes.
Made the mistake of switching back to parade - oh boy. Christmas music and Santa ... Sigh
1157 - the Audio on Fox is all messed up. I may kill myself.
For the record - my predictions today: Dallas chokes; Detroit gets blown out and tonight is a comedy of errors.
1200 - Had to switch to College roundball - Creighton v Michigan. The audio is out of synch and it crackles on fox. There's no way I can listen. I may need to watch on mute. This sux huge donkey balls.
1218 - I assume the 15 next to Michigan is their National ranking and not their seed in this tournament (quarter-final #1 of Old Spice classic). They are giving Creighton a beating.
1223 - Fox is still messed up and they all picked the Giants. Going East to West on a short week. Really? You're all that sure of the team with the lesser record winning? Eli is better on the road, but his balls don't exactly cut the wind.
1233 - Rogers was trying to help, but in the meantime City TV feed has taken over, so ... who knows. As long as it works I don't care anymore
1235 - FOOTBALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
1238 - Lions have first and goal again. Jordy? Is that really a man's name? Nice fumble white boy. And roughing the passer? Shouldn't he be touched hard enough for him to notice? Ugh. This is gonna screw with my prediction. But it's still the Lions!
1242 - Touchdown Lions ...
1248 - Turns out Det is 31st in Defense and 32nd against the pass because they have a bunch of new players. Didn't they finish 0-16? I don't think newness is the problem here.
1252 - The rub was a bad idea, but the beer seems good at first glance. There's a slightly (okay mostly) burnt crust, but it's just the skin. Tenting now while the potatoes cook.
103 - Picked off ... There's the Lions I know!
110 - Touchdown - Donald Lee on a screen. Lucky 7's across the board.
123 - Turkey status: Delicious and moist. Pants status: off. Sam Adams status: #3
133 - First and goal. Let me throw 3 screen passes outside the 5 yard line and see if something can happen. You realize the defensive backs aren't running 30 yards downfield, right? 10-7 Packers. Idiots.
140 - Another pick. Big surprise. C'mon GB, don't screw this up.
147 - 1st and goal ... yep another short pass, at least it was incomplete
151- Yep. Once again the 31st best defense (that one from worst if you don't know) stops the Packers. 13-7. Still idiots. 1 minute left in 1st half.
200 - Halftime.
212 - Am I supposed to know who any of these people performing are? Melanie Fiona; Hal Linton; Kem and whoever the first one was? I'm old...
215 - oh, they let a white boy perform a Martha & the Vandellas song. That makes sense. Motown is all about that! Not just white. Emo white!
221 - Total yards. 256-78 ... again. idiots.
Ha! ... Another pick! Packers ball.
241 - Touchdown. That took forever. Packers 20-7
256 - Touchdown ... I was sooo right. Packers 27-7
257 - Beverage update: Grolsch, a nice Dutch brew.
end of 3
300 - Michigan won earlier, now it's Marquette v Xavier. What is this tourney? It's kinda awesome ... was it always here? I feel cheated. I need answers dammit.
310 - Ummmm... Why don't the Lions' 2 Johnsons have their first initial on their backs? They play the same damn position...
311 - 3rd and goal for Detroit. This is not ending well.
313 - Yep. No points.
320 - A safety for Detroit. Good on ya. 2 points will not make any difference though. Do you have a 20 point play in there?
331 - After a FG, everyone expects an onside kick with 5 minutes left. Sneaky Detroit kicks it away so that they can lose more easily. Awful nice of you.
335 - Yep. Stafford throws a TAINT. Good job rookie. Packers 34-12
348 - Matt Flynn is the QB now for GB. After McCarthy challenged a fumble and won, in a 22 point game. With 2 minutes left. Stay Classy GB.
351 - 18 seconds left. Prediction #1 was accurate for me. Game over. 34-12
357 - Apparently Lechler of OAK really wants to hit the scoreboard. Uhhhh Why?
421 - What's the ruling on leftovers? It's 3 hours later. Is it - If a microwave is involved = leftovers?
Also - if the Raiders are that much better with Gradkowski, why wasn't he starting earlier. (They are much better, btw. Jamarcus is one of the worst all time)
455 - 1st quarter done. Not exactly the most exciting. 3-0 Dallas.
505 - Touchdown Dallas on a big run. I'm pretty sure Tom Cable will now punch someone for failing to tackle. I suggest the pro-bowler, send a message coach!
523 - Doink.... stays 10-0 Dallas.
I'm bored. And not even tipsy enough, even though I've tried.
535 - Am I supposed to know who or what a Daughtry is?
539 - I'm so smart. Also - is anyone over 20 excited about the holidays? Enough with the ads.
600 - Seriously. Who are these guys? At least the nobodies in the earlier games were doing known songs. Let's get a local wedding band to perform at halftime ...
609 - So, the Cowbows are really clicking? they've scored 17. Not 37. Against the Raiders.
620 - You know why there's still so many ads for the Bills in Toronto? 2 cheapest tix will cost you $220. To see the Bills. From the top of the upper deck. Cause the bottom of the upper deck is over $100 more. To see the Bills. The only AFC team that existed in 1999 to not make the playoffs this decade (only NFC team - Detroit). Just sayin'
630 - The Raider comeback has started. TD. 17-7. But listening to commentary you'd think the Cowboys were cruising with a 21 point lead.
635 - The Dallas offense that's really clicking just punted for the 4th time. GB who couldn't finish didn't punt until the 4th Q.
646 - Wow Oakland sux. Even Roy Williams can catch a TD. 24-7
725 - Well that's finally over. I don't care about Simms' cobbler, for the record.
913 - I'll end it on this ... I'm pretty sure I just heard McDaniels use Motherfuckin' and drop another f-bomb. I smell an FCC fine...
Saturday, January 5, 2008
2007 Playoff opener running diary
I'll try a running diary for the opening night of the 2007 playoffs, NBC broadcast and beer ... so ...
4:27 - Pre-game show is done ... Good job by Jason Taylor. I assume it was, he can do no wrong (ok, so I have a mild man-crush on him - don't judge me.)
4:28 - First game is the Sean Taylors, I mean Redskins, going against the Seahawks. Judging by the pre-game coverage, the Skins should be a double digit favourite. Of course, that's ridiculous and Seattle is a tough place to play. At least Madden isn't involved in this one.
4:30 - I remember why the Skins are dogs - Todd Collins on the road people! 10 years between starts, there's a reason for that, he wasn't behind Manning.
4:34 - Jamie Moyer is just scary. He's old, he shouldn't be jumping around like that.
4:35 - Kick-off, finally ... let's get drunk! I mean, let's get pumped.
4:36 - Collinsworth & Hammond in the booth for this one. Who the hell is Hammond?
4:37 - Oh yeah - 3 & out, Collins will be fine...
4:41 - Why is the Nissan owner drying his car by the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere?
4:43 - Someone needs to explain to me why it's THE Ohio State University? How many is there? One? Was there some confusion, maybe the students there aren't the brightest, I mean look at Maurice Clarett.
4:46 - What's with the fake American Idol ads? Have they already run out of people to make fun of? Another show I never understood, if I came in 4th one year, why not go back the next and clean up?
4:48 - First down Washington! It had to happen eventually.
4:50 - Tatupu is a great name. Next time I name something (kid or pet) it has to be in the running.
4:51 - Ooooo Nirvana as a lead into break, in Seattle, what are the odds? Maybe we'll here about rain at some point?
4:52 - Bad penalty for illegal touching [giggle] ... Seattle gets the ball inside the Skins territory instead of way back in their own.
4:53 - The Bell ad with the stupid beavers playing the hockey game: everyone is wearing a headset with microphone - isn't that to communicate with the other players? So when they call the them horrible and say what they're doing ... I don't get it.
4:58 - Remember when Shaun Alexander was the MVP and the cover boy for Madden? Now he's splitting time 50-50 with Maurice Morris?
5:01 - Why is CTV advertising the 2010 Olympics 2 years ahead of time? Was there a chance we'd forget about them?
5:07 - Hammond says that Collins has been tearing up the league ... Wow! Let's not get carried away. He beat a Dallas team that didn't care, an up and down Giants team, a Tarvaris Jackson-led team & a terrible Bears team ... 5 TDs in 4 games, truly special
5:13 - We learn that despite going to High schools 9 miles apart (at different times) and Collins not playing for 10 years, this is only the first time they've met ... OMG ... how is that even possible? It's like Mike Myers & Mary Pickens never appearing in the same movie despite both being from Canada ... uncanny.
5:22 - How is that a fumble, surely that was forward motion? Skins are screwed.
5:24 - Play is now ruled incomplete before the challenge review ... bizarre. But there can be no doubt, because the ball went forward, so the arm had to be going forward. It's physics ...
5:27 - Why does Randle El drop like a sack after every catch? He can't get to the ground fast enough.
5:36 - Seattle is dominating but can't finish ... it should be 21-0 instead of 10-0.
5:42 - Truffant, Tatupu, Julian Peterson, Kerney ... Yeah. Washington is screwed, and they've yet to get on the other side of the 50.
5:43 - There's no foul for unnecessary roughness. How do you know that's what it was if there's no foul? There was also no foul for pissing in the Gatorade, but we don't need to hear about it.
5:45 - Hasselback needs to be charged for abuse for what he's doing to Shawn Springs.
5:49 - Even on the fair catch, Randle El dropped to the turf...
5:51 - Who is Katt Williams? Should I know him?
5:52 - Researched Williams ... 8 kids and I've not seen a single one of his movies. First Sunday will probably not break that streak.
6:03 - 3rd and 1 and they go for it twice, and they don't even come close. Shouldn't Portis carry the ball in that situation? At least they got to Seattle territory.
6:11 - First half done - 10-0 Seattle. Not a very exciting game.
6:28 - Apparently Alexander is no longer as productive because of his age. Of course the fact that he got bad once Steve Hutchinson left is not a coincidence. And that Hutchinson blocks for rookie of the year Adrian Peterson is just a coincidence too.
6:33 - Wow ... Randle El is really afraid of getting hit, he'll take a few steps and slide like a QB.
6:37 - Tom Cruise is in the house. Maybe he can summon Xenu to help the Skins.
6:39 - Finally a big play. 39 yard pass and the victim ... Shawn Springs. Ouch.
6:41 - Collinsworth mentions Hutchinson ... That's why he's the best in the league.
6:49 - Skins are driving ... almost. I'm almost tepid.
6:54 - Skins go for it on 4th and 1. Pass is incomplete and interference ... 1st down!
6:56 - End of 3rd. Skins have a 3rd down inside the 10.
6:58 - According to Cadbury, if you tell a friend her dress is no good at the store and then buy it for yourself that makes you clever and not a complete bitch.
6:59 - Randle El caught it and didn't drop right away - TD! 13-7 ... we have a game, maybe.
7:04 - 1st turnover. Skins ball. And we learn that the team believes in ghosts. Creepy.
7:06 - OMG ... Moss TD and the crowd goes quiet in a really eerie way ... 14-13 Washington in a couple of minutes.
7:07 - But really, enough with the Taylor references. What makes you think he's in heaven anyway? Do all Americans go to heaven?
7:09 - Sweet Jesus ... Redskins ball on the kick-off inside the 15
7:17 - Wow ... Another Redskins pick. The second by Landry.
7:18 - The Seahawks are self-destructing in a big big way.
7:24 - Another big play. And another time where Springs is the victim.
7:25 - Hackett was wide open on the TD catch ... not a good call on the defense.
7:26 - 2-point convert and it's 21-14.
7:31 - Collins throws a pick 6 ... that's why he didn't play for 10 years.
7:33 - They mention Seattle weather ... I'm a frikken genius.
7:44 - 2 minute warning 2 TD lead ... Hasselback goes to GB next week. I wonder if we'll see the whole: We want the ball and we're gonna score, thing this week again.
7:50 - Another pick 6 for Collins ... And Collisworth says he's been sensational today ????!!!!??? Huh?
7:53 - The Seahawks won by 21, that's Taylor's number. I wonder if that's an omen or whatever they believe that ghosts do when they watch football.
4:27 - Pre-game show is done ... Good job by Jason Taylor. I assume it was, he can do no wrong (ok, so I have a mild man-crush on him - don't judge me.)
4:28 - First game is the Sean Taylors, I mean Redskins, going against the Seahawks. Judging by the pre-game coverage, the Skins should be a double digit favourite. Of course, that's ridiculous and Seattle is a tough place to play. At least Madden isn't involved in this one.
4:30 - I remember why the Skins are dogs - Todd Collins on the road people! 10 years between starts, there's a reason for that, he wasn't behind Manning.
4:34 - Jamie Moyer is just scary. He's old, he shouldn't be jumping around like that.
4:35 - Kick-off, finally ... let's get drunk! I mean, let's get pumped.
4:36 - Collinsworth & Hammond in the booth for this one. Who the hell is Hammond?
4:37 - Oh yeah - 3 & out, Collins will be fine...
4:41 - Why is the Nissan owner drying his car by the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere?
4:43 - Someone needs to explain to me why it's THE Ohio State University? How many is there? One? Was there some confusion, maybe the students there aren't the brightest, I mean look at Maurice Clarett.
4:46 - What's with the fake American Idol ads? Have they already run out of people to make fun of? Another show I never understood, if I came in 4th one year, why not go back the next and clean up?
4:48 - First down Washington! It had to happen eventually.
4:50 - Tatupu is a great name. Next time I name something (kid or pet) it has to be in the running.
4:51 - Ooooo Nirvana as a lead into break, in Seattle, what are the odds? Maybe we'll here about rain at some point?
4:52 - Bad penalty for illegal touching [giggle] ... Seattle gets the ball inside the Skins territory instead of way back in their own.
4:53 - The Bell ad with the stupid beavers playing the hockey game: everyone is wearing a headset with microphone - isn't that to communicate with the other players? So when they call the them horrible and say what they're doing ... I don't get it.
4:58 - Remember when Shaun Alexander was the MVP and the cover boy for Madden? Now he's splitting time 50-50 with Maurice Morris?
5:01 - Why is CTV advertising the 2010 Olympics 2 years ahead of time? Was there a chance we'd forget about them?
5:07 - Hammond says that Collins has been tearing up the league ... Wow! Let's not get carried away. He beat a Dallas team that didn't care, an up and down Giants team, a Tarvaris Jackson-led team & a terrible Bears team ... 5 TDs in 4 games, truly special
5:13 - We learn that despite going to High schools 9 miles apart (at different times) and Collins not playing for 10 years, this is only the first time they've met ... OMG ... how is that even possible? It's like Mike Myers & Mary Pickens never appearing in the same movie despite both being from Canada ... uncanny.
5:22 - How is that a fumble, surely that was forward motion? Skins are screwed.
5:24 - Play is now ruled incomplete before the challenge review ... bizarre. But there can be no doubt, because the ball went forward, so the arm had to be going forward. It's physics ...
5:27 - Why does Randle El drop like a sack after every catch? He can't get to the ground fast enough.
5:36 - Seattle is dominating but can't finish ... it should be 21-0 instead of 10-0.
5:42 - Truffant, Tatupu, Julian Peterson, Kerney ... Yeah. Washington is screwed, and they've yet to get on the other side of the 50.
5:43 - There's no foul for unnecessary roughness. How do you know that's what it was if there's no foul? There was also no foul for pissing in the Gatorade, but we don't need to hear about it.
5:45 - Hasselback needs to be charged for abuse for what he's doing to Shawn Springs.
5:49 - Even on the fair catch, Randle El dropped to the turf...
5:51 - Who is Katt Williams? Should I know him?
5:52 - Researched Williams ... 8 kids and I've not seen a single one of his movies. First Sunday will probably not break that streak.
6:03 - 3rd and 1 and they go for it twice, and they don't even come close. Shouldn't Portis carry the ball in that situation? At least they got to Seattle territory.
6:11 - First half done - 10-0 Seattle. Not a very exciting game.
6:28 - Apparently Alexander is no longer as productive because of his age. Of course the fact that he got bad once Steve Hutchinson left is not a coincidence. And that Hutchinson blocks for rookie of the year Adrian Peterson is just a coincidence too.
6:33 - Wow ... Randle El is really afraid of getting hit, he'll take a few steps and slide like a QB.
6:37 - Tom Cruise is in the house. Maybe he can summon Xenu to help the Skins.
6:39 - Finally a big play. 39 yard pass and the victim ... Shawn Springs. Ouch.
6:41 - Collinsworth mentions Hutchinson ... That's why he's the best in the league.
6:49 - Skins are driving ... almost. I'm almost tepid.
6:54 - Skins go for it on 4th and 1. Pass is incomplete and interference ... 1st down!
6:56 - End of 3rd. Skins have a 3rd down inside the 10.
6:58 - According to Cadbury, if you tell a friend her dress is no good at the store and then buy it for yourself that makes you clever and not a complete bitch.
6:59 - Randle El caught it and didn't drop right away - TD! 13-7 ... we have a game, maybe.
7:04 - 1st turnover. Skins ball. And we learn that the team believes in ghosts. Creepy.
7:06 - OMG ... Moss TD and the crowd goes quiet in a really eerie way ... 14-13 Washington in a couple of minutes.
7:07 - But really, enough with the Taylor references. What makes you think he's in heaven anyway? Do all Americans go to heaven?
7:09 - Sweet Jesus ... Redskins ball on the kick-off inside the 15
7:17 - Wow ... Another Redskins pick. The second by Landry.
7:18 - The Seahawks are self-destructing in a big big way.
7:24 - Another big play. And another time where Springs is the victim.
7:25 - Hackett was wide open on the TD catch ... not a good call on the defense.
7:26 - 2-point convert and it's 21-14.
7:31 - Collins throws a pick 6 ... that's why he didn't play for 10 years.
7:33 - They mention Seattle weather ... I'm a frikken genius.
7:44 - 2 minute warning 2 TD lead ... Hasselback goes to GB next week. I wonder if we'll see the whole: We want the ball and we're gonna score, thing this week again.
7:50 - Another pick 6 for Collins ... And Collisworth says he's been sensational today ????!!!!??? Huh?
7:53 - The Seahawks won by 21, that's Taylor's number. I wonder if that's an omen or whatever they believe that ghosts do when they watch football.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
2007 Season opener running diary
I'll try a running diary for the opening night, NBC broadcast and beer ... so ...
8:30 - Who is that chick singing the anthem? Should I know her? Why do they all try to be Whitney ... get with the song already.
8:32 - Who is the chick singing the theme song? Should I know her? Looks alright, at least she's better than Pink.
8:35 - The little promo with Manning / Bush was cute, but not quite Nicolette Sheridan
8:40 - Addai goes down on the first play of the game ... oh man, Dungy/Manning almost shat themselves.
8:43 - For the record, I hate Madden as an announcer. And I have N'Awlins to cover the 6 point spread.
8:52 - Mare misses his first kick with the Saints after they pretty much picked the D apart ... good job!
9:00 - Okay ... Harrison is a little bit of a stud ...But how do you not double team him?
9:02 - LOVE the Bud Light at the opera advert... "First time at the opera boys?" - Classic
9:06 - Eric Johnson was a great pickup, how was this not discussed more? Why does Football prospectus have NO finish dead last? Did anyone check to make sure the 2007 edition wasn't swapped with the 2002 one?
9:08 - Another good Bud Light ad... with the barking dogs. What the hell is Chuck? Is it a remake of Max Smart?
9:11 - The Visa adverts with the people paying with the card but then someone pays cash are really annoying. How is cash slower than Credit? Don't you have to sign the damn receipt? This needs to be explained.
9:15 - They need to invent a device that blocks Madden's voice and we can just have Michaels.
9:16 - Jason David - Greatest redemption ever. After being burned by Marvin on the TD he strips and runs back for 6 ... Laissez les bons temps roulez!
9:17 - The new captain emblem is huge and gaudy but why doesn't a player's past experience count? Manning only had one star, no way it's his first year as captain.
9:19 - This is ouuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr country ... didn't we retire that damn song?
9:22 - Why do I need to see a huge graphic on the field that says 2nd and 10, when it says that on the graphic at the bottom of the screen? How lazy do you have to be to not drop your eyes a few inches?
9:25 - Dammit, I want to hate Manning, why does he have to make good adverts, the MasterCard one with the advice for couples...
9:25 - Wait a minute, Visa & MasterCard? The NFL allowed this?
9:26 - Listening to the crowd during a Deuce run, it sounds like the Saints have a few fans in the dome ... the champs couldn't sell out the opener to their own fans?
9:27 - Deuce, Bush & Stecker ... Yeah, good luck stopping all 3.
9:32 - Push It, as the outro music after the Mare FG, really? Was funky Cold Medina too expensive?
9:33 - I love Heineken, but what the hell was that?
9:37 - Wait, Dungy has a daughter named Tiara? There's a joke there somewhere.
9:40 - So, according to the Pepsi ad, Wade Phillips is retarded? Nice hire Jones...
9:42 - Shouldn't someone mention that the Colts only had one good drive, after the missed FG. The Saints are killing the vaunted O of Indy...
9:47 - This is Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Country count at 5 ...
But I am excited about the John C. McGinley Miller adverts...
9:52 - Manning is 8/16 for 101, very Grossman like numbers. Any chance someone will say anything?
9:52 - NO takes a time out with 52 secs left on defense ... what a move. So the FG ties it, the Colts still have only 2 big plays ... total domination from where I sit.
9:59 - So, if the ref loses his hat, that means an illegal touch? Uhhhh ... I'll let that one slide.
10:04 - Chris Collinsworth is the best sportscaster in the land, but you can't make a Peyton Manning being in every ad joke when he's only been in one or two. You have to look at the broadcast. Tiki's first Sunday Night game will be NYG-Dallas ... priceless!
Why the hell would NBC advertise their Monday Night line-up during a FOOTBALL game ... retards.
10:06 - I LOVE Keith Olberman ... But Bob Costas can lick my sweaty nut sack...
10:14 - Why does Andrea Kremer look so surprised when she looks at the camera?
10:24 - Was Addai flashing gang signs after the TD? Just what the commish wants to see.
10:35 - I guess Dungy gave quite the halftime pep talk, 'cause it's all Indy now. This is ugly. Good thing I won money on St-Louis earlier today.
10:44 - Why doesn't Madden just marry Bob sanders already? It's sickening...
11:23 - Quite the massacre ... I guess Indy is for real.
11:33 - Wow ... they just showed the graphic that Brees was about to set the mark for the lowest yards per completion in a game in history. One pass later and Weinke's record is safe...
11:35 - Well, Manning made Jason David his personal bitch and now the game's over. Why does NBC have a horse trailer? What is Madden doing?
8:30 - Who is that chick singing the anthem? Should I know her? Why do they all try to be Whitney ... get with the song already.
8:32 - Who is the chick singing the theme song? Should I know her? Looks alright, at least she's better than Pink.
8:35 - The little promo with Manning / Bush was cute, but not quite Nicolette Sheridan
8:40 - Addai goes down on the first play of the game ... oh man, Dungy/Manning almost shat themselves.
8:43 - For the record, I hate Madden as an announcer. And I have N'Awlins to cover the 6 point spread.
8:52 - Mare misses his first kick with the Saints after they pretty much picked the D apart ... good job!
9:00 - Okay ... Harrison is a little bit of a stud ...But how do you not double team him?
9:02 - LOVE the Bud Light at the opera advert... "First time at the opera boys?" - Classic
9:06 - Eric Johnson was a great pickup, how was this not discussed more? Why does Football prospectus have NO finish dead last? Did anyone check to make sure the 2007 edition wasn't swapped with the 2002 one?
9:08 - Another good Bud Light ad... with the barking dogs. What the hell is Chuck? Is it a remake of Max Smart?
9:11 - The Visa adverts with the people paying with the card but then someone pays cash are really annoying. How is cash slower than Credit? Don't you have to sign the damn receipt? This needs to be explained.
9:15 - They need to invent a device that blocks Madden's voice and we can just have Michaels.
9:16 - Jason David - Greatest redemption ever. After being burned by Marvin on the TD he strips and runs back for 6 ... Laissez les bons temps roulez!
9:17 - The new captain emblem is huge and gaudy but why doesn't a player's past experience count? Manning only had one star, no way it's his first year as captain.
9:19 - This is ouuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr country ... didn't we retire that damn song?
9:22 - Why do I need to see a huge graphic on the field that says 2nd and 10, when it says that on the graphic at the bottom of the screen? How lazy do you have to be to not drop your eyes a few inches?
9:25 - Dammit, I want to hate Manning, why does he have to make good adverts, the MasterCard one with the advice for couples...
9:25 - Wait a minute, Visa & MasterCard? The NFL allowed this?
9:26 - Listening to the crowd during a Deuce run, it sounds like the Saints have a few fans in the dome ... the champs couldn't sell out the opener to their own fans?
9:27 - Deuce, Bush & Stecker ... Yeah, good luck stopping all 3.
9:32 - Push It, as the outro music after the Mare FG, really? Was funky Cold Medina too expensive?
9:33 - I love Heineken, but what the hell was that?
9:37 - Wait, Dungy has a daughter named Tiara? There's a joke there somewhere.
9:40 - So, according to the Pepsi ad, Wade Phillips is retarded? Nice hire Jones...
9:42 - Shouldn't someone mention that the Colts only had one good drive, after the missed FG. The Saints are killing the vaunted O of Indy...
9:47 - This is Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Country count at 5 ...
But I am excited about the John C. McGinley Miller adverts...
9:52 - Manning is 8/16 for 101, very Grossman like numbers. Any chance someone will say anything?
9:52 - NO takes a time out with 52 secs left on defense ... what a move. So the FG ties it, the Colts still have only 2 big plays ... total domination from where I sit.
9:59 - So, if the ref loses his hat, that means an illegal touch? Uhhhh ... I'll let that one slide.
10:04 - Chris Collinsworth is the best sportscaster in the land, but you can't make a Peyton Manning being in every ad joke when he's only been in one or two. You have to look at the broadcast. Tiki's first Sunday Night game will be NYG-Dallas ... priceless!
Why the hell would NBC advertise their Monday Night line-up during a FOOTBALL game ... retards.
10:06 - I LOVE Keith Olberman ... But Bob Costas can lick my sweaty nut sack...
10:14 - Why does Andrea Kremer look so surprised when she looks at the camera?
10:24 - Was Addai flashing gang signs after the TD? Just what the commish wants to see.
10:35 - I guess Dungy gave quite the halftime pep talk, 'cause it's all Indy now. This is ugly. Good thing I won money on St-Louis earlier today.
10:44 - Why doesn't Madden just marry Bob sanders already? It's sickening...
11:23 - Quite the massacre ... I guess Indy is for real.
11:33 - Wow ... they just showed the graphic that Brees was about to set the mark for the lowest yards per completion in a game in history. One pass later and Weinke's record is safe...
11:35 - Well, Manning made Jason David his personal bitch and now the game's over. Why does NBC have a horse trailer? What is Madden doing?
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Wild Card Diary Part 2...
Running diary of the 1st Wild Card game part 2 ... Colts up 9-0 over the Chiefs after the first half
6:04 Second half. Who the hell is Tom Hammond? How did he get this gig?
6:07 Manning is picked off again. Law’s 9th career pick of Manning. Marino never won, but he still played well. Manning is 3-6 and has been shitty.
6:09 Exploding man promo number 8
6:11 Who is Dini Petty and why would anyone stop her on the street to see her skin?
6:13 Another 3 and out for KC. We need to see Huard, I don’t care what Edwards says…
6:16 The NFL network is running the cheerleader playoffs. Looks like I found my picture in picture alternate feed.
6:17 5 of the 9 picks by Law vs. Manning are in the playoffs … ouch
6:27 The Colts now have more 1st downs (22) to KC total yards (21) … with 4.5 minutes to go in the 3rd…
6:28 Addai scampers... TD Horsies. 16-0
6:32 Finally a 1st down …
6:35 Scarface TD…. Was this a rope-a-dope situation where they lulled Indy to sleep
6:36 2 point conversion … 16-8
6:39 3 quarters in the books.
6:45 According to Collinsworth Manning would be great at Dance Dance Revolution. I’m not sure what that means.
6:48 While we get to see a global promo the Colts scored a TD. Love Global. Just LOVE them … I need DirecTV
6:49 The kick is good … 23-8 with just over 10 minutes to go.
6:50 Sweet Jesus on a crutch … there’s actually a Canadian this is ouuurrrrrr country. Someone stick a fork in my ear please.
6:56 Sanders picks off Green. Boy was wrong. I guess when you play this badly you can’t expect to win. Of course maybe letting the best player on the field (Grandma Johnson) touch the ball from time to time could help.
7:09 KC Fumble … Colts recovery. Why am I still watching this
7:11 2-minute warning. KC sucks and cost me money. I had them at plus 13.5 … c’mon
7:14 Hall is crushed on the punt return. Woo hoo…
7:16 Gonzalez dropped another. Herm looks confused
7:16 Another pick. Why the hell not. KC has put together the most inept offensive showing ever. The 2 starting WRs have no catches. No 1st downs in the first half. Then the TD drive and since then – 3 turnovers.
7:18 Game over … nice going Colts D. But you don’t deserve as much credit as you’ll get.
6:04 Second half. Who the hell is Tom Hammond? How did he get this gig?
6:07 Manning is picked off again. Law’s 9th career pick of Manning. Marino never won, but he still played well. Manning is 3-6 and has been shitty.
6:09 Exploding man promo number 8
6:11 Who is Dini Petty and why would anyone stop her on the street to see her skin?
6:13 Another 3 and out for KC. We need to see Huard, I don’t care what Edwards says…
6:16 The NFL network is running the cheerleader playoffs. Looks like I found my picture in picture alternate feed.
6:17 5 of the 9 picks by Law vs. Manning are in the playoffs … ouch
6:27 The Colts now have more 1st downs (22) to KC total yards (21) … with 4.5 minutes to go in the 3rd…
6:28 Addai scampers... TD Horsies. 16-0
6:32 Finally a 1st down …
6:35 Scarface TD…. Was this a rope-a-dope situation where they lulled Indy to sleep
6:36 2 point conversion … 16-8
6:39 3 quarters in the books.
6:45 According to Collinsworth Manning would be great at Dance Dance Revolution. I’m not sure what that means.
6:48 While we get to see a global promo the Colts scored a TD. Love Global. Just LOVE them … I need DirecTV
6:49 The kick is good … 23-8 with just over 10 minutes to go.
6:50 Sweet Jesus on a crutch … there’s actually a Canadian this is ouuurrrrrr country. Someone stick a fork in my ear please.
6:56 Sanders picks off Green. Boy was wrong. I guess when you play this badly you can’t expect to win. Of course maybe letting the best player on the field (Grandma Johnson) touch the ball from time to time could help.
7:09 KC Fumble … Colts recovery. Why am I still watching this
7:11 2-minute warning. KC sucks and cost me money. I had them at plus 13.5 … c’mon
7:14 Hall is crushed on the punt return. Woo hoo…
7:16 Gonzalez dropped another. Herm looks confused
7:16 Another pick. Why the hell not. KC has put together the most inept offensive showing ever. The 2 starting WRs have no catches. No 1st downs in the first half. Then the TD drive and since then – 3 turnovers.
7:18 Game over … nice going Colts D. But you don’t deserve as much credit as you’ll get.
Wild Card Diary Part 1...
Here's my running diary of the first Wild Card game of the weekend ...
4:35 Kick-off … Gonzalez gave us a nice Tony Montana Impression. I approve.
4:37 Global has taken over the broadcast so you know that means: shitty ads, no cheerleaders and we will miss some plays. I hate them so much…
4:45 Apparently Peyton will show us plenty of his gyrations today … How Collinsworth is able to stay sane is unbelievable. At least NBC was smart enough to get him; he's the best color man right now.
4:49 On Cue, we get bad ads and we don't get to see the Field Goal. 3-0 Indy
4:59 I should say that I predicted a KC win. If Indy win there is no way they cover the spread of 7.5 points
5:00 Addai was stuffed on 2nd and Goal. If they don't score here they are in serious trouble.
5:01 Peyton throws it over Clark's head and he's pissed??? Uh … 6-0 Indy. This will be interesting if KC can ever get a 1st down
5:02 So, JT is an actor now. Problem is, the movie doesn't look bad. I guess he is bringing sexy back.
5:03 How do you stop an exploding man? Who cares? Just make sure he doesn't blow up anyone else. Does anyone know what that is a reference to? Does anyone care?
5:09 Wow, that Colts D is feeling frisky.
5:10 How can Global sell the rights to the 1st down line to Samsung if they aren’t operating it? Isn't that like selling someone the Brooklyn bridge?
5:16 That quasi-tackle attempt by Manning was ridiculous. There's your turning point. You know big Ben or even Favre at least tries to make a tackle instead of throwing themselves close to Ty Law's feet.
5:18 But of course Trent Green trips on his own player … and the 23 yard attempt boinks off the upright … Ugh.
5:19 Wait a minute now I'm apparently watching CH?
5:23 Seeing Manning's reaction to a Wayne dropped pass I've come to the conclusion that he is the NFL's answer to Rasheed Wallace or Paris Hilton. Just a petulant child who needs a spanking.
5:31 Still waiting for a KC first down …
5:37 2:00 minute warning. Is it just me or is this going quickly.
5:38 The ad people at Global need to be fired. This is football. Ads for an astrology service and fear of slipping in the bath … c’mon.
5:40 Exploding man promo #6. Is this the Canadian version of: This is ouuuuuuuuuuurrrrr Country
5:43 Manning picked off again. Does anyone still think he doesn’t choke in the big game?
5:48 Harrison was squeezing his left hand as if he was squeezing a golf ball? Who can squeeze a golf ball? Is it a nerf?
5:50 Even the commercials are brought to you by someone else?
5:50 Halftime. Colts go up 9-0. No first downs for KC in the half. Nice going Herm.
5:57 Miami will get the 9th overall pick. Sounds good to me.
4:35 Kick-off … Gonzalez gave us a nice Tony Montana Impression. I approve.
4:37 Global has taken over the broadcast so you know that means: shitty ads, no cheerleaders and we will miss some plays. I hate them so much…
4:45 Apparently Peyton will show us plenty of his gyrations today … How Collinsworth is able to stay sane is unbelievable. At least NBC was smart enough to get him; he's the best color man right now.
4:49 On Cue, we get bad ads and we don't get to see the Field Goal. 3-0 Indy
4:59 I should say that I predicted a KC win. If Indy win there is no way they cover the spread of 7.5 points
5:00 Addai was stuffed on 2nd and Goal. If they don't score here they are in serious trouble.
5:01 Peyton throws it over Clark's head and he's pissed??? Uh … 6-0 Indy. This will be interesting if KC can ever get a 1st down
5:02 So, JT is an actor now. Problem is, the movie doesn't look bad. I guess he is bringing sexy back.
5:03 How do you stop an exploding man? Who cares? Just make sure he doesn't blow up anyone else. Does anyone know what that is a reference to? Does anyone care?
5:09 Wow, that Colts D is feeling frisky.
5:10 How can Global sell the rights to the 1st down line to Samsung if they aren’t operating it? Isn't that like selling someone the Brooklyn bridge?
5:16 That quasi-tackle attempt by Manning was ridiculous. There's your turning point. You know big Ben or even Favre at least tries to make a tackle instead of throwing themselves close to Ty Law's feet.
5:18 But of course Trent Green trips on his own player … and the 23 yard attempt boinks off the upright … Ugh.
5:19 Wait a minute now I'm apparently watching CH?
5:23 Seeing Manning's reaction to a Wayne dropped pass I've come to the conclusion that he is the NFL's answer to Rasheed Wallace or Paris Hilton. Just a petulant child who needs a spanking.
5:31 Still waiting for a KC first down …
5:37 2:00 minute warning. Is it just me or is this going quickly.
5:38 The ad people at Global need to be fired. This is football. Ads for an astrology service and fear of slipping in the bath … c’mon.
5:40 Exploding man promo #6. Is this the Canadian version of: This is ouuuuuuuuuuurrrrr Country
5:43 Manning picked off again. Does anyone still think he doesn’t choke in the big game?
5:48 Harrison was squeezing his left hand as if he was squeezing a golf ball? Who can squeeze a golf ball? Is it a nerf?
5:50 Even the commercials are brought to you by someone else?
5:50 Halftime. Colts go up 9-0. No first downs for KC in the half. Nice going Herm.
5:57 Miami will get the 9th overall pick. Sounds good to me.
Monday, November 6, 2006
Halftime in the NFL
Well, week 9 is just about in the books, which means the NFL season has reached the half way point with everyone having played 8 games (pending tonight's loss by Seattle).
A few things that make me sad.
The Dolphins sucked it big time, but I did get to smile when they scored over 20 for the first time this year by dropping 31 on the Bears who were supposed to be the second coming of the Monsters of the Midway.
I severely underestimated the lack of intelligence of Culpepper and his ability to choke under the gun. Joey, well, the least said about him, the better. Only Mike Vick is a worse starting QB than Harrington. I'd rather have Huard or Fiedler at this point. C'mon Raiders, Culpepper & Booker for Moss & Walter.
Andrew Walter, and more precisely Brooks' injury, ruined my hopes for an 0-16 season in Oakland. Boo! Now they'll end up with 4 wins (Seattle is 3 ... maybe even more), leaving Miami as a bottom feeder.
So to recap my earlier predictions:
NFC East
I had the G-Men to win and Philly to make a Wild Card run. No changes there except that NY is better than I thought and Philly will probably not make it. The entire division is weaker than expected.
NFC South
I had the panthers in a cakewalk and I clearly underestimated the Saints and rookie Payton. The Saints are the team here with the Panthers as a weak wild card - they are too inconsistent, like the Saints used to be.
NFC North
Ouch. This division sucks and the Vikes are not very good and should fold soon enough. The Bears were the original pick and I stand by that.
NFC West
I had Seattle at 7 wins, I got scared for a while, but now I'm on track again - Seneca Wallace! I picked St. Louis to win, based on the Ewing theory with Martz. That's still my pick but Arizona as a wild card is out. And SF is better then expected.
So now it's:
1 - NY Giants (2 previously)
2 - Chicago (3 - because of a loss in NY this week)
3 - N'Awlins (NR)
4 - St. Louis (4)
5 - Carolina (1)
6 - Philly (5) or Dallas or god forbid Atlanta ... Dallas would have the best chance of winning a wild card game though.
NY over Chicago (home field) to reach the SB.
New Orleans will make it fun in Chicago, but the cold will be too much, but they do have a shot and that should be a better game than NY-Carolina.
AFC West
I called this the toughest to call and had the Raiders done (unless they used Jeff George). I got that right. I had Denver failing because of a lack of commitment to a runner. And I undervalued the Browns defense they use.
I think Denver is awesome and SD is a playoff team. KC has the injury to blame, but are still a force at home.
AFC North
I thought the recovering QBs would be the story, but both Cincy and Pittsburgh have had various degrees of suckitude.
I actually thought Baltimore was doomed. I regret that but Baltimore will win this division by default.
AFC East
I obviously had the Fish here and the Pats learning from their mistakes (Branch & Vinatieri). I was right about the kicker mistake, but somehow the Golden boy is still getting it done. The Jets and Bills suck too, so the Pats are champs again in a weak ass division.
AFC South
Oh baby, now here's a tight battle. I had the Jags winning the division with Indy feeling the loss of Edge. The Jags are looking good (save a couple of instances) but the Colts are playing the Milton Berle card and just whipping it out to make a statement (last night) when necessary.
** The Milton Berle theory refers to the following story/urban legend. As you may or may not know, uncle Miltie was blessed with a schlong that would make John Holmes proud (I'm not talking about the PGA pro here). The story goes that one day a young stud challenged Milton to a measuring contest and was promptly humiliated when he couldn't measure up to Berle. According to the legend, Milton later spoke of the incident by saying he pulled out just enough to win. The Colts are therefore just doing enough to win every week without whipping it out Dirk Diggler style.
Vince Young sucks as I predicted and Houston is plagued by the prospect that it could have had Bush. But at least they beat Miami, which beat Chicago. By the NCAA logic that makes them the best team in the league!
So the AFC goes:
1 - Indy (5)
2 - Denver (NR)
3 - New England (NR - easy schedule)
4 - Baltimore (NR)
5 - Jacksonville (1)
6 - SD (6)
I like Indy over Denver. Denver should beat NE in Mile high in January. And the Ravens should lose to Jacksonville. SD would be much higher if they didn't have Martyball.
So I originally had my SB faves (not named Miami) as Carolina, NYG, Jags, Cincy, KC & Philly.
Now I have Eli in the Manning bowl (which makes me sad because of all the hype, but this will be Tiki's Bettis like farewell). Then the contenders go: Chicago, Denver, Indy, Carolina and Jags.
If either NE or the Saints make it ... that could be the weirdest ever. The Pats are clutch, unfortunately, and the Saints have the best karma ever.
Yikes.
A few things that make me sad.
The Dolphins sucked it big time, but I did get to smile when they scored over 20 for the first time this year by dropping 31 on the Bears who were supposed to be the second coming of the Monsters of the Midway.
I severely underestimated the lack of intelligence of Culpepper and his ability to choke under the gun. Joey, well, the least said about him, the better. Only Mike Vick is a worse starting QB than Harrington. I'd rather have Huard or Fiedler at this point. C'mon Raiders, Culpepper & Booker for Moss & Walter.
Andrew Walter, and more precisely Brooks' injury, ruined my hopes for an 0-16 season in Oakland. Boo! Now they'll end up with 4 wins (Seattle is 3 ... maybe even more), leaving Miami as a bottom feeder.
So to recap my earlier predictions:
NFC East
I had the G-Men to win and Philly to make a Wild Card run. No changes there except that NY is better than I thought and Philly will probably not make it. The entire division is weaker than expected.
NFC South
I had the panthers in a cakewalk and I clearly underestimated the Saints and rookie Payton. The Saints are the team here with the Panthers as a weak wild card - they are too inconsistent, like the Saints used to be.
NFC North
Ouch. This division sucks and the Vikes are not very good and should fold soon enough. The Bears were the original pick and I stand by that.
NFC West
I had Seattle at 7 wins, I got scared for a while, but now I'm on track again - Seneca Wallace! I picked St. Louis to win, based on the Ewing theory with Martz. That's still my pick but Arizona as a wild card is out. And SF is better then expected.
So now it's:
1 - NY Giants (2 previously)
2 - Chicago (3 - because of a loss in NY this week)
3 - N'Awlins (NR)
4 - St. Louis (4)
5 - Carolina (1)
6 - Philly (5) or Dallas or god forbid Atlanta ... Dallas would have the best chance of winning a wild card game though.
NY over Chicago (home field) to reach the SB.
New Orleans will make it fun in Chicago, but the cold will be too much, but they do have a shot and that should be a better game than NY-Carolina.
AFC West
I called this the toughest to call and had the Raiders done (unless they used Jeff George). I got that right. I had Denver failing because of a lack of commitment to a runner. And I undervalued the Browns defense they use.
I think Denver is awesome and SD is a playoff team. KC has the injury to blame, but are still a force at home.
AFC North
I thought the recovering QBs would be the story, but both Cincy and Pittsburgh have had various degrees of suckitude.
I actually thought Baltimore was doomed. I regret that but Baltimore will win this division by default.
AFC East
I obviously had the Fish here and the Pats learning from their mistakes (Branch & Vinatieri). I was right about the kicker mistake, but somehow the Golden boy is still getting it done. The Jets and Bills suck too, so the Pats are champs again in a weak ass division.
AFC South
Oh baby, now here's a tight battle. I had the Jags winning the division with Indy feeling the loss of Edge. The Jags are looking good (save a couple of instances) but the Colts are playing the Milton Berle card and just whipping it out to make a statement (last night) when necessary.
** The Milton Berle theory refers to the following story/urban legend. As you may or may not know, uncle Miltie was blessed with a schlong that would make John Holmes proud (I'm not talking about the PGA pro here). The story goes that one day a young stud challenged Milton to a measuring contest and was promptly humiliated when he couldn't measure up to Berle. According to the legend, Milton later spoke of the incident by saying he pulled out just enough to win. The Colts are therefore just doing enough to win every week without whipping it out Dirk Diggler style.
Vince Young sucks as I predicted and Houston is plagued by the prospect that it could have had Bush. But at least they beat Miami, which beat Chicago. By the NCAA logic that makes them the best team in the league!
So the AFC goes:
1 - Indy (5)
2 - Denver (NR)
3 - New England (NR - easy schedule)
4 - Baltimore (NR)
5 - Jacksonville (1)
6 - SD (6)
I like Indy over Denver. Denver should beat NE in Mile high in January. And the Ravens should lose to Jacksonville. SD would be much higher if they didn't have Martyball.
So I originally had my SB faves (not named Miami) as Carolina, NYG, Jags, Cincy, KC & Philly.
Now I have Eli in the Manning bowl (which makes me sad because of all the hype, but this will be Tiki's Bettis like farewell). Then the contenders go: Chicago, Denver, Indy, Carolina and Jags.
If either NE or the Saints make it ... that could be the weirdest ever. The Pats are clutch, unfortunately, and the Saints have the best karma ever.
Yikes.
Sunday, October 1, 2006
Told you so...
I don't mean to brag, but if you check my predictions I believe I mention Alexander will be out by week 3...
Hmmm... I nailed it!
Who will sign up to be on the cover next year?
I vote for the Golden boy...
Hmmm... I nailed it!
Who will sign up to be on the cover next year?
I vote for the Golden boy...
Back from the brink
After being on the ledge the past couple of weeks I just got jarred back to reality.
The CBS Analyst (I'm afraid to check who it is) said that Eric Moulds is still a serviceable receiver - nothing offensive there - and then said he used to be the best receiver in the league.
Really?
He's been in the top 10 in receptions 3 times in his career, never better than 4th. He cracked the top 10 in TDs twice, again never better than 4th. And for yardage again, 3 times in the top 10, never first.
So what there made him better than Harrison, Moss, Carter, Rice, Brown, any of the Johnsons???
Oy.
The CBS Analyst (I'm afraid to check who it is) said that Eric Moulds is still a serviceable receiver - nothing offensive there - and then said he used to be the best receiver in the league.
Really?
He's been in the top 10 in receptions 3 times in his career, never better than 4th. He cracked the top 10 in TDs twice, again never better than 4th. And for yardage again, 3 times in the top 10, never first.
So what there made him better than Harrison, Moss, Carter, Rice, Brown, any of the Johnsons???
Oy.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Disaster, thy name is Culpepper
I can’t take it anymore.
I need to stop this; I’m so depressed I can barely function.
Maybe I shouldn’t watch football anymore.
To my horror of horrors I actually thought to myself at one point during yesterday’s debacle that maybe Lame Duck Harrington should come into the game. The only QB I hate more than him is Vick, so how did it come to this?
Culpepper clearly needs a bigger star on the team, he can’t handle the pressure, usually he cracks in the 4th Quarter, but against the Bills, the heat is raised from the opening kick-off and clearly he can’t handle it.
This weekend should have been fun; we even had a kicker getting the business with no flags thrown. There were beat downs and upsets, let downs and come backs, but I can’t think of that right now, because the Pats are 2-0 despite playing poorly.
Sweet mother of mercy, somebody kill me.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Week 1
Instead of having multiple posts, I'll just keep editing this one, so refresh the page if you're following throughout the day.
The first big winner this season: CBS
Nabbing JB from Fox was great. Joe Buck is despicable and plain. Plus, how do you get rid of Jillian Barberie as the weather girl?
I love Bradshaw, Long & Jimmy but I'd rather see Sharpe's sharp tongue. And they have Casserly to explain GM stuff! Genius! TJ/Boomer is always a good thing.
So Fox is really the only loser here.
Holy crap! Collins is the starter in Tennessee ... Everyone jump ship now. Did Volek sleep with the Boss's daughter?
For the record. I have Eli in the Manning Bowl. He's better at the end of close games, and it will be closer with no James and with Jacobs/Tiki on the other side.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate Vick. He can't throw the ball. I understand you pay him a lot of money, but why not just use him as a Randle El type, but as a running back. Put Schaub in at QB. Vick has not put together back to back winning seasons and can't even hit the open man in the end zone.
Holy crap. That hit on Green was ugly.
I think Green is done. Forever.
I predicted the Chiefs would make the playoffs. Scratch that. SD wins the division and Pitt is a wild card again.
Instant History, people...
I knew Seattle was going to struggle, but wow. No TDs against a putrid Lions team. And you call yourselves SB contenders?
I even heard someone pick Hasselback as league MVP. Don't these supposed pundits study history? We all know Seattle is going down, why do they pick them to win the West?
Tiny hands got a TD to the rookie Davis on the first drive - I'm impressed. He actually matches last year's total TD passes.
Well, Carolina really screwed the pooch. I hope this was just an aberration. If they can't beat the worst QB in the league, then what chance do they have?
Randy Cross, a question for you - You say the backup QB has to be at least .500. Well, about half the starters can't get that, so what does that mean? Does the backup need to be better than the starter? Then why isn't he starting? Where's Kornheiser to put him in his place? Gus, c'mon man!
I realize Ed Hocherle is buff, but someone has to step in and force him to wear a striped shirt that fits, that's too small...
Arizona is just smoking San Fran. This is a nice game to watch...
Has a Chicago-GB match (the oldest rivalry) drawn so little interest. I think I only turned to it twice in the first half.
Genius of the week: Antonio Bryant - called for taunting while down 10 points with 35 seconds to play.
How bad is Green Bay - First time they've been shutout in 234 games ... 15 years!
The Bears look much better now that they can score.
The Manning Bowl is about to start ... put the kids to bed and break out the good booze - this is gonna be exciting! (I like Collinsworth, for the record, another guy Fox lost.)
What the Hell? I was told Addai was going to be the starter... I picked him in my fantasy team...
Call me Mr. Nichols, from the school of hard knocks. Classic!
Well. Eli got robbed. First by his team and the uncalled for penalties. Indy had no answer for the running game.
Then he got robbed at the end by a really bad call of offensive pass interference.
Too bad. Frustrating for me, since I predicted everything but the outcome didn't match. NY played better and the younger Manning deserved a different fate.
Oh well. Now we've seen everyone so next week will be easier.
The first big winner this season: CBS
Nabbing JB from Fox was great. Joe Buck is despicable and plain. Plus, how do you get rid of Jillian Barberie as the weather girl?
I love Bradshaw, Long & Jimmy but I'd rather see Sharpe's sharp tongue. And they have Casserly to explain GM stuff! Genius! TJ/Boomer is always a good thing.
So Fox is really the only loser here.
Holy crap! Collins is the starter in Tennessee ... Everyone jump ship now. Did Volek sleep with the Boss's daughter?
For the record. I have Eli in the Manning Bowl. He's better at the end of close games, and it will be closer with no James and with Jacobs/Tiki on the other side.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate Vick. He can't throw the ball. I understand you pay him a lot of money, but why not just use him as a Randle El type, but as a running back. Put Schaub in at QB. Vick has not put together back to back winning seasons and can't even hit the open man in the end zone.
Holy crap. That hit on Green was ugly.
I think Green is done. Forever.
I predicted the Chiefs would make the playoffs. Scratch that. SD wins the division and Pitt is a wild card again.
Instant History, people...
I knew Seattle was going to struggle, but wow. No TDs against a putrid Lions team. And you call yourselves SB contenders?
I even heard someone pick Hasselback as league MVP. Don't these supposed pundits study history? We all know Seattle is going down, why do they pick them to win the West?
Tiny hands got a TD to the rookie Davis on the first drive - I'm impressed. He actually matches last year's total TD passes.
Well, Carolina really screwed the pooch. I hope this was just an aberration. If they can't beat the worst QB in the league, then what chance do they have?
Randy Cross, a question for you - You say the backup QB has to be at least .500. Well, about half the starters can't get that, so what does that mean? Does the backup need to be better than the starter? Then why isn't he starting? Where's Kornheiser to put him in his place? Gus, c'mon man!
I realize Ed Hocherle is buff, but someone has to step in and force him to wear a striped shirt that fits, that's too small...
Arizona is just smoking San Fran. This is a nice game to watch...
Has a Chicago-GB match (the oldest rivalry) drawn so little interest. I think I only turned to it twice in the first half.
Genius of the week: Antonio Bryant - called for taunting while down 10 points with 35 seconds to play.
How bad is Green Bay - First time they've been shutout in 234 games ... 15 years!
The Bears look much better now that they can score.
The Manning Bowl is about to start ... put the kids to bed and break out the good booze - this is gonna be exciting! (I like Collinsworth, for the record, another guy Fox lost.)
What the Hell? I was told Addai was going to be the starter... I picked him in my fantasy team...
Call me Mr. Nichols, from the school of hard knocks. Classic!
Well. Eli got robbed. First by his team and the uncalled for penalties. Indy had no answer for the running game.
Then he got robbed at the end by a really bad call of offensive pass interference.
Too bad. Frustrating for me, since I predicted everything but the outcome didn't match. NY played better and the younger Manning deserved a different fate.
Oh well. Now we've seen everyone so next week will be easier.
Bold Predictions and Insanity
Clearly, anyone attempting to predict the next 21 weeks is a madman.
But like someone said - I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
So here's my picks by division.
NFC East.
I see Philly being better, and Washington. Dallas is a fashionable pick, but there's too much drama.
I like Eli's progression and I see the Giants taking it again, but with some conviction this time. Philly could be a wild card.
NFC South
At first glance it seems like a tough division, but NO is rebuilding, TBay lost some key players and Atlanta is insisting on using an inferior QB, just because he's the highest paid player in history.
So I pick Carolina in a cakewalk.
NFC Norris
Fugly division with Minny continuing its downward slide, GBay is just a sorry team and Detroit - wow! If Thomas wasn't so entertaining in running the Knicks into the ground then Matt Millen would be anointed as the sorriest excuse for a GM.
Bears, even if they don't use the right QB, will easily win the division.
NFC West
Now this is interesting.
Seattle has 2 curses going against it - the Super Bowl loser has never won 8 games the following season in the 21st Century & the Madden Cover Jinx.
So Seattle wins 7 games, in large part because of a leg injury to Alexander in the 3rd week or so.
SF has tiny hands at QB, so forget about them.
Arizona is a fashionable pick, and with a new stadium and actual fans, plus Edge and the best passing attack from last year ... I see a Wild Card spot.
That leaves STL as the division winner. Ugh ... That's nasty.
But they have solid players all around, just no one sexy. Martz is gone, so is a lot of the drama.
So:
1- Carolina
2- NY Giants
3- Chicago
4- St. Louis
5- Philly
6- Arizona
Carolina over Chicago in the NFC Championship (Unless Eli breaks through - I can honestly see him in the SB this year or the next, he's much better under pressure than Peyton).
AFC West
This is the toughest of all divisions.
3 teams have a legitimate shot.
Sorry Al Davis (but unless Jeff George starts slinging it downfield to Moss on every other pass, it just won't be any good).
KC has the best runner in the league in Johnson (plus Green is so underrated). A revitalized defense and a new head coach that won't cry all the time.
SD has a new QB, but any team with BLT has a shot. Plus Gates is the best TE (Sorry to burst your bubble Kellen).
Denver has a very good team that were very close last year. But I think they're the weakest of the 3. The running game will have to fail eventually. 2 Bells does not sound like a ring will be coming to Mile High.
AFC South
Houston is better, but poor drafting and a QB who pines to play with an offensive line will keep them down (I do look forward to the Lundy era).
The Flaming Thumbtacks are going with a mediocre offense at best - not good enough.
The Colts and Jags are true contenders. Look for both of them to be in, with the Colts having a great regular season once again, except that Addai is no Edge - Wild Card for them.
AFC North
Would be more intriguing if not for the recovering QBs.
Cincy and Pittsburgh crowd the top, but inspire little confidence in me. Cleveland is a train wreck waiting to happen and the least said about Baltimore the better (McNair to Mason will be the only thing keeping the fans from ritual mutilation).
AFC East
The crown jewel of course.
Buffalo sucks big time - no QB a HB so full of himself it's laughable and no real offensive weapons - just rejects.
Plus a failed head coach and a GM so old he remembers Prohibition - not good!
The Jets are even worse, with a bad QB, no RB even though Martin begged them to pick one and an all around bucket of yuck all over the field.
The Pats have had a great run, but they narrowly took the division last year and lost key players - heroes and MVPs without replacing them.
The player people are most excited about - the backup RB, Maroney. Good luck.
Miami won the last 6 last year, and despite losing the opening game at the home of the defending champs, they are a mortal lock for the postseason. They improved on both sides and just need their Secondary to step up to be a legitimate contender.
One word to SI - how in H-E- double hockey sticks can you have a team lose the Super Bowl at home???? There's no way that ever happens.
So:
1- Jacksonville
2- Miami (look at the schedule)
3- KC
4- Cincy
5- Indy
6- SD (or Pittsburgh - depends on Rivers)
This pick is too tough. I see the match ups and Miami looks to win - a last hurrah for Thomas/Taylor and an aging defense. But picking your favorite team to win it all is just ridiculous. So I will say nothing and only say that if Miami makes it to Miami - there's no way they lose that game.
Oh, and Indy takes a pounding.
Super Bowl favorites not called Miami:
1- Carolina
2- Giants
3- Jags
4- Bengals
5- KC & Philly
The reason Philly will do well: The Ewing Theory.
Look it up - it's the theory that shows how a team will suddenly get much better when the star player leaves.
Ewing gets hurt - the Knicks win.
A-Rod leaves - The Mariners get better.
A-Rod leaves - The Rangers get better and the Yanks start losing more in the postseason.
There's many more examples.
Enjoy the season!
But like someone said - I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
So here's my picks by division.
NFC East.
I see Philly being better, and Washington. Dallas is a fashionable pick, but there's too much drama.
I like Eli's progression and I see the Giants taking it again, but with some conviction this time. Philly could be a wild card.
NFC South
At first glance it seems like a tough division, but NO is rebuilding, TBay lost some key players and Atlanta is insisting on using an inferior QB, just because he's the highest paid player in history.
So I pick Carolina in a cakewalk.
NFC Norris
Fugly division with Minny continuing its downward slide, GBay is just a sorry team and Detroit - wow! If Thomas wasn't so entertaining in running the Knicks into the ground then Matt Millen would be anointed as the sorriest excuse for a GM.
Bears, even if they don't use the right QB, will easily win the division.
NFC West
Now this is interesting.
Seattle has 2 curses going against it - the Super Bowl loser has never won 8 games the following season in the 21st Century & the Madden Cover Jinx.
So Seattle wins 7 games, in large part because of a leg injury to Alexander in the 3rd week or so.
SF has tiny hands at QB, so forget about them.
Arizona is a fashionable pick, and with a new stadium and actual fans, plus Edge and the best passing attack from last year ... I see a Wild Card spot.
That leaves STL as the division winner. Ugh ... That's nasty.
But they have solid players all around, just no one sexy. Martz is gone, so is a lot of the drama.
So:
1- Carolina
2- NY Giants
3- Chicago
4- St. Louis
5- Philly
6- Arizona
Carolina over Chicago in the NFC Championship (Unless Eli breaks through - I can honestly see him in the SB this year or the next, he's much better under pressure than Peyton).
AFC West
This is the toughest of all divisions.
3 teams have a legitimate shot.
Sorry Al Davis (but unless Jeff George starts slinging it downfield to Moss on every other pass, it just won't be any good).
KC has the best runner in the league in Johnson (plus Green is so underrated). A revitalized defense and a new head coach that won't cry all the time.
SD has a new QB, but any team with BLT has a shot. Plus Gates is the best TE (Sorry to burst your bubble Kellen).
Denver has a very good team that were very close last year. But I think they're the weakest of the 3. The running game will have to fail eventually. 2 Bells does not sound like a ring will be coming to Mile High.
AFC South
Houston is better, but poor drafting and a QB who pines to play with an offensive line will keep them down (I do look forward to the Lundy era).
The Flaming Thumbtacks are going with a mediocre offense at best - not good enough.
The Colts and Jags are true contenders. Look for both of them to be in, with the Colts having a great regular season once again, except that Addai is no Edge - Wild Card for them.
AFC North
Would be more intriguing if not for the recovering QBs.
Cincy and Pittsburgh crowd the top, but inspire little confidence in me. Cleveland is a train wreck waiting to happen and the least said about Baltimore the better (McNair to Mason will be the only thing keeping the fans from ritual mutilation).
AFC East
The crown jewel of course.
Buffalo sucks big time - no QB a HB so full of himself it's laughable and no real offensive weapons - just rejects.
Plus a failed head coach and a GM so old he remembers Prohibition - not good!
The Jets are even worse, with a bad QB, no RB even though Martin begged them to pick one and an all around bucket of yuck all over the field.
The Pats have had a great run, but they narrowly took the division last year and lost key players - heroes and MVPs without replacing them.
The player people are most excited about - the backup RB, Maroney. Good luck.
Miami won the last 6 last year, and despite losing the opening game at the home of the defending champs, they are a mortal lock for the postseason. They improved on both sides and just need their Secondary to step up to be a legitimate contender.
One word to SI - how in H-E- double hockey sticks can you have a team lose the Super Bowl at home???? There's no way that ever happens.
So:
1- Jacksonville
2- Miami (look at the schedule)
3- KC
4- Cincy
5- Indy
6- SD (or Pittsburgh - depends on Rivers)
This pick is too tough. I see the match ups and Miami looks to win - a last hurrah for Thomas/Taylor and an aging defense. But picking your favorite team to win it all is just ridiculous. So I will say nothing and only say that if Miami makes it to Miami - there's no way they lose that game.
Oh, and Indy takes a pounding.
Super Bowl favorites not called Miami:
1- Carolina
2- Giants
3- Jags
4- Bengals
5- KC & Philly
The reason Philly will do well: The Ewing Theory.
Look it up - it's the theory that shows how a team will suddenly get much better when the star player leaves.
Ewing gets hurt - the Knicks win.
A-Rod leaves - The Mariners get better.
A-Rod leaves - The Rangers get better and the Yanks start losing more in the postseason.
There's many more examples.
Enjoy the season!
Thursday, September 7, 2006
There's no shortcuts in Football Buttercup
Kickoff time, the start of the season. The big enchiladas.
Also a first look at some commercials.
That GM commercial is annoying already, so is the Lincoln dream advert.
Peyton is always gold, and the Southwest Airlines are classics.
NBC kicked off the season with Sean Puffy Diddy Daddy Pee Combs John or whatever he calls himself now.
Wasn't he relevant like 8 years ago? And where were the special guests advertised?
Is it just me or did Costas look like he wondered where his entrance was after the Bus rolled in?
Getting to half time and why are the Fish avoiding Chambers? I love Welker (see last year's writings) but Chambers is a stud. Booker is hurt, come on Daunte!
Culpepper does look good though, what a quick release!
Madden has said a few nuggets already - Can Brown take a full load?
I have Eli in the Manning Bowl. I think he will kick Peyton's ass actually (better cast).
Oh, Pink doing the Intro music? Was Hillary Duff not available? When will these guys learn?
You don't have Country music in the NBA and you don't have pop tarts in the NFL.
McBride did nail the anthem, but what's a Rascal Flatt?
Also a first look at some commercials.
That GM commercial is annoying already, so is the Lincoln dream advert.
Peyton is always gold, and the Southwest Airlines are classics.
NBC kicked off the season with Sean Puffy Diddy Daddy Pee Combs John or whatever he calls himself now.
Wasn't he relevant like 8 years ago? And where were the special guests advertised?
Is it just me or did Costas look like he wondered where his entrance was after the Bus rolled in?
Getting to half time and why are the Fish avoiding Chambers? I love Welker (see last year's writings) but Chambers is a stud. Booker is hurt, come on Daunte!
Culpepper does look good though, what a quick release!
Madden has said a few nuggets already - Can Brown take a full load?
I have Eli in the Manning Bowl. I think he will kick Peyton's ass actually (better cast).
Oh, Pink doing the Intro music? Was Hillary Duff not available? When will these guys learn?
You don't have Country music in the NBA and you don't have pop tarts in the NFL.
McBride did nail the anthem, but what's a Rascal Flatt?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
T.O. and the Hammy
I guess I should weigh in on the T.O. mess in Big D.
America's favorite hamstring is acting up and making Jerry Jones look like a fool.
Some speculate that he won't make the cut for the Cowboys, that they'll go after Branch, but let's be serious - Jones will not allow him to leave like that and Owens will sink them.
The Cowboys should be a playoff contender, but the off field distractions are about to make the Tuna's head explode.
My buddy gave me the best analogy ever for T.O.
Owens is wasting his talent away, that's like a dude with a 14 inch member not doing porn.
In the end he's just screwing himself.
America's favorite hamstring is acting up and making Jerry Jones look like a fool.
Some speculate that he won't make the cut for the Cowboys, that they'll go after Branch, but let's be serious - Jones will not allow him to leave like that and Owens will sink them.
The Cowboys should be a playoff contender, but the off field distractions are about to make the Tuna's head explode.
My buddy gave me the best analogy ever for T.O.
Owens is wasting his talent away, that's like a dude with a 14 inch member not doing porn.
In the end he's just screwing himself.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Draft Day
Well, few days are more important to me every year as this one.
For once I was able to watch the entire first day of the draft thanks to the NFL network. Here's some thoughts...
Mario Williams was a great pick at number 1. Bush is not Michael Jordan despite what that insane troll Mayock might think.
New Orleans now has a superstar to market in Bush, and I could make a joke here about how this Bush got to NO much quicker than the other, but I won't.
Vince Young was a mistake, Leinart should have gone first at QB, unless you can wait, in that case Cutler was the pick. Young will be Aaron Brooks, average and frustrating with flashes of brilliance. Leinart will be Carson Palmer. Cutler will be Favre ... I'm fearless, bring it on!
Suzy Kolber asking Leinart (drafted in the top 10, voted one of the 50 most beautiful people, a Heisman winner, 2 time College Champion, dating Supermodels and hanging out with celebrities) if he has any advice for the kids who are outcasts out there !!!!!!
My neck almost snapped when I spun around to make sure I heard that and wasn't hallucinating. Leinart, an outcast??? Sure, and while you're at it ask Donald Trump for his advice to the homeless.
The rest of the first round was very unsurprising. My beloved Fish selected Jason Allen, a defensive back who can play multiple positions. I was hoping for Jackson, a receiver, but we got Hagan a very sure handed position receiver in the 3rd, so I'm happy.
But why did the OL drop so far? Winston & Justice ... Very weird.
Denver got Cutler, Javon Walker & a solid Tight End ... Very solid draft.
The Texans was able to add Eric Winston to Williams, for a good day as well. The Bills screwed up all kinds trading up to pick guys not on most boards, very sad. (hee hee)
I'll post another message soon with my thoughts on women sports and the title IX rules (special request), so stay tuned.
On another note... Stay away from Silent Hill. Unless you love the games, in that case wait for the DVD. Brutal!
For once I was able to watch the entire first day of the draft thanks to the NFL network. Here's some thoughts...
Mario Williams was a great pick at number 1. Bush is not Michael Jordan despite what that insane troll Mayock might think.
New Orleans now has a superstar to market in Bush, and I could make a joke here about how this Bush got to NO much quicker than the other, but I won't.
Vince Young was a mistake, Leinart should have gone first at QB, unless you can wait, in that case Cutler was the pick. Young will be Aaron Brooks, average and frustrating with flashes of brilliance. Leinart will be Carson Palmer. Cutler will be Favre ... I'm fearless, bring it on!
Suzy Kolber asking Leinart (drafted in the top 10, voted one of the 50 most beautiful people, a Heisman winner, 2 time College Champion, dating Supermodels and hanging out with celebrities) if he has any advice for the kids who are outcasts out there !!!!!!
My neck almost snapped when I spun around to make sure I heard that and wasn't hallucinating. Leinart, an outcast??? Sure, and while you're at it ask Donald Trump for his advice to the homeless.
The rest of the first round was very unsurprising. My beloved Fish selected Jason Allen, a defensive back who can play multiple positions. I was hoping for Jackson, a receiver, but we got Hagan a very sure handed position receiver in the 3rd, so I'm happy.
But why did the OL drop so far? Winston & Justice ... Very weird.
Denver got Cutler, Javon Walker & a solid Tight End ... Very solid draft.
The Texans was able to add Eric Winston to Williams, for a good day as well. The Bills screwed up all kinds trading up to pick guys not on most boards, very sad. (hee hee)
I'll post another message soon with my thoughts on women sports and the title IX rules (special request), so stay tuned.
On another note... Stay away from Silent Hill. Unless you love the games, in that case wait for the DVD. Brutal!
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